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sledging
Handbags at dawn
By Will 2 years ago, at the end of February, 126 Comments »
Children, children. Is anyone else finding the constant spat between Australia and India nothing short of pathetic? I read that India have complained for Matthew Hayden calling Harbhajan Singh “mad boy”, and Hayden’s followed it up with the less than timely statement that the same bloke is an “obnoxious weed“. Isn’t Hayden meant to be one of Australia’s church-going, cross-bearing, holier than thou ministers? And who gives a flying toss if Singh was called a “mad boy”? It isn’t racist, other than to the mentally fragile, and in no way could be considered offensive. At most, it is merely dismissive. Perhaps that’s why it upset them so much: they want a real fight.
When Australia tour England next year, they will share and enjoy every vulgar insult under the sun. Captains’ virility will be called into question by a short-leg (apologies for the pun there). The opening batsmen’s mothers might be mentioned, and you can bet that every Englishmen will, in the eyes of the Australians, not deserve to be out there. Everyone will laugh about it and we’ll all go home chuckling.
Why, then, do these two countries have such a problem with eachother?
Pathetic. The sooner this tour’s over, the better.
126 Comments »Twenty20 sledging match
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of February, 1 Comment »
“Each team has only 20 seconds to insult the opposition”. Witty animation from Nicholson at The Australian.
Where’s the charm?
By Will 2 years ago, mid-January, 3 Comments »
A fine and balanced piece by John Benaud in today’s Independent on Sunday. So good, in fact, that I’m pasting it below.
3 Comments »Cricket is always having crises. Books are written and entitled, inevitably, ‘Cricket At The Crossroads’. You’ll recall Bodyline, the World Series Cricket breakaway… and in between the occasional tuppenny bunger, like pathetic over-rates, chucking and so on. Generally, there’s a good guy and a bad guy, and in the above real-deal controversies Douglas Jardine and Kerry Packer were nasties.
The India captain Anil Kumble’s self-indulgent hijacking of “good guy” Australia captain Bill Woodfull’s line “only one team is playing cricket”, uttered during the 1932-33 Bodyline series, was immediately spotted by us cynics with “ocker” accents as code for: “My team have just lost a Test nobody thought they could and I’d like you all to bag nasty Australia and their captain instead of me, in case back home they think we’re the bad guys and torch our houses.”
Ponting is tactically dull, abrasive, prone to snap and a sometimes ungracious winner, but of more urgent concern than any character study of him is the bunch of no-hopers who wander/administer aimlessly under the abbreviatedanonymity of “The ICC”.
One can only guess how embarrassing it must be to have anyone know you are officially part of the International Cricket Council and your claim to fame is the absolute shambles that passes for world cricket in 2008. Put the chief executive, Malcolm Speed, and his team in the dock and even Rumpole’s most junior solicitor could win, his case rested on the evidence of the World Cup last year.
Laws have been changed to accommodate bowlers who throw; the Darrell Hair case remains impossible to fathom, at least for those of us who played and understood the spirit of the game before the ICC lawyers measured out their runs; the crooks of Zimbabwe are rewarded with ongoing recognition; and now a talented umpire who has a bad game can be sent home.
There was a time when the greatest insult to an Australian cricketer was to mention the phrase “no sheep in the top paddock”. After the SCG Test the words “monkey” and “bastard” are apparently offensive. Speed and Co have a new challenge: compile a dictionary of words that are offensive to the modern cricketer, or his culture.
Before they make bigger asses of themselves they should recall the Collis King incident, Mount Smart Stadium, New Zealand, 1978. King, a most talented West Indian all-rounder then playing in World Series Cricket, took a terrible blow to the right groin and collapsed. The physio applied the magic “freeze” spray, but to no avail, and the stretcher arrived. This roused King, who looked down at his “magic-sprayed” groin, sat up abruptly and announced: “Jesus, I’m turning white; quick, spray me all over!”
Past players think modern cricket has no sense of humour, subtlety, finesse and characters, and little goodwill; that it lacks a certain class, charm even. Here’s proof: in 1961, Australia’s Richie Benaud and West Indies’ Frank Worrell agreed pre-series to “have some fun”.
In 2008, when Ponting and Kumble met before the start of the series, it was to discuss how best to defuse an evolving problem: fielders claiming catches that bounce. Cheating.
The ICC, with a little pressure from the odd cricket board, will surely find a way to legalise that in no time.
Video of Harbhajan and Symonds sledging
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of January, 41 Comments »
Well why not? Here are the winning pair in their now infamous day three tussle. The best line is from Ian Chappell right at the end, when he says “I’m not sure Matthew Hayden would be my choice as UN peace-keeper”. Hayden was an intermediary, stepping in to break things up.
Click here if you can’t see the video above.
41 Comments »Harbhajan banned; India apoplectic
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of January, 57 Comments »
So Harbhajan Singh has been banned for three Tests after calling Andrew Symonds a monkey. This is the correct decision, but the fallout could be quite monstrously messy.
There are already reports (from the never-really-to-be-trusted Press Trust of India) that India are considering abandoning their tour of Australia. Judging by the splenetic feedback we received today at Cricinfo (much of it was unprintable and vile), the issue many people have isn’t with Harbhajan but the umpires. I watched a TV news channel in India hold an impromptu discussion surrounding it. “Umpired out in Sydney” screamed the headline. “India fall victim of umpires” read another. One member of the audience said that if Bucknor were to visit India, he wouldn’t return alive. It was greeted with warm applause.
Yes, India, I’m afraid you were victim of some absolutely horrific umpiring decisions and I’m sure Mark Benson and Steve Bucknor will be penalised accordingly. But do not expect players to walk: this is not part of cricketers’ clauses in their contract. It is up to the umpires to adjudge whether a player is out or not and, if they say it’s not out – then live with it. There is a vast amount of luck involved in sport; what comes around goes around.
Frankly, I find the BCCI’s decision to demand an investigation into the umpiring pathetic. Every other country has series like these, where decisions go against them, but everything related to Indian cricket seems to be magnified to an extraordinary level; that they are victimised and the whole cricket world is against them, when it is not. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Indian government get involved in the next few days.
Equally, the attitude of Ricky Ponting and some of the Australians was extraordinary in the extreme. Appealing to Benson for Dravid’s wicket, which was turned down, Ponting sunk to his knees and was muttering away as though nothing had gone Australia’s way in the entire Test. Come off it, Ricky. In situations like these, when you’ve clearly had the immense rub of the green, some diplomacy and dignity would count for rather a lot.
What a shambles. Happy new year everyone.
57 Comments »Symonds was called a ‘monkey’ by Harbhajan
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of January, 100 Comments »
This is very messy indeed. Apparently – and this is to be taken with a bucketful of salt – Harbhajan Singh called Andrew Symonds a monkey during their altercation yesterday. This is according to Chetan Chauhan, the India team manager, who also says the term “monkey” isn’t derogatory in India. That may be the case, but neither is it a glowing term of endearment; given the history between the pair, this excuse is pretty pathetic and smacks of a management desperately bailing themselves out. The whole affair needs nipping in the bud immediately, beginning with banning Harbhajan for the default period of such an offence (I think it’s either two Tests or four ODIs).
The problem some people will have, I imagine, is one of double standards; that Australia are allowed to sledge and no one else is. Sledging isn’t (or shouldn’t be) racist. Harbhajan’s alleged term isn’t a sledge, it’s a racist slur.
It’s pretty depressing that it should overshadow what has been a fascinating Test by all accounts. Worse still, what impact will this case have on the future of international cricket? Last year, I went to a number of Associate matches in Kenya and Ireland. And before each game, a variant of the following rule (clause 3.3 of the ICC Code of Conduct) was read out (at most of Kenya’s venues, but only some in Ireland because the PA often forgot):
…language or gestures that offends, insults, humiliates, intimidates, threatens, disparages or vilifies another person on the basis of that person’s race, religion, colour, descent or national or ethic origin…
How crap and depressing it would be if this became standard practice at all international games. But, in the world we live in these days, this could easily become the norm.
Your thoughts on the issue are welcome.
100 Comments »Notes from the pavilion for October 17th
By Will 3 years ago, mid-October, 1 Comment »
Links of note from the past 24 hours:
- Cricinfo – Monkey chants controversy in Mumbai too – This is becoming increasingly uncomfortable…
- Cricinfo – Jones set for Worcestershire move – Is this the most expensive hospital pass in cricket transfer history? Come on…how long will he last, seriously?
- Cricinfo – Harmison signs for Lions – This will be worth keeping a close eye on
- The ageless Kim Barnett – He’s still going strong. At 47
The Australia-India spat
By Will 3 years ago, at the start of October, 72 Comments »
So Australia and India are embroiled in a spat all about Australia’s favourite tactic: on-field aggression. The Indians claim Ricky Ponting’s team have been using “harsh words” to their batsmen, while Australia suggest that India have misinterpreted “what aggressive cricket means”.
I can’t help feel this has been blown out of all proportion – by both parties. Australia are renowned for their tough-talking bullshit on the field of play, and equally famous for not being able to take it themselves. Remember England in the Ashes in 2005? Simon Jones flinging the ball into Matthew Hayden; Paul Collingwood, and others, shouldering up to an incensed Hayden. The bullies are always the biggest of cowards.
But I’m on Australia’s side for once, and not out of sympathy owing to their utter humiliation by England today in the Rugby World Cup (yeehaw!). India: for God’s sake, grow up and get on with it. If the nasty Australians really get out of hand, there are enough stump mics and cameras to witness the event. There’s a sense that India are appealing to the world, that somehow they are being victimised by Australia. Australia do this to every other team and although it occasionally boils over, it’s just part of their game.
It doesn’t always work for other teams though. India should just forget about trying to out-sledge them – it is not working.
Your thoughts?
72 Comments »Should stump mics be turned off?
By Will 3 years ago, at the start of August, 7 Comments »
Peter Moores, the England coach, has responded to criticism of England’s behaviour in the 2nd Test against India by suggesting stump microphones are switched off.
“There must be some things that are left on the field to be fair to the players,” Moores said in response to criticism of England’s incessent chatter during the Trent Bridge Test. “They should be allowed to go out there and play the game without being worried that everything they actually say is going to be broadcast. It’s something we’ve discussed as a management team and we’ve spoken to the match referee about it.”
The International Cricket Council rules that stump microphones be turned on whenever a ball is live – that is, when a batsman takes guard, between a bowler’s run-up to the time the ball reaches or passes a batsman, and from the time a fielder throws the ball back to a team-mate or onto the stumps.
It’s a confident reaction from a coach so new to international cricket and I agree, in part. Players should be allowed, within the law, to go hell for leather out there and say whatever they wish. This isn’t Question Time or an audience with the Queen. This is professional sport played by well-paid, talent individuals (supposedly) at the top of their game – and sledging is part of their armoury.
But, as a viewer, only once or twice have I ever heard a “live” sledge (Dean Jones was caught out, remember). Sky always tend to turn it down for viewers – though Matt Prior is, admittedly, probably the loudest England wicketkeeper I’ve ever heard, so it’s entirely plausible his yelps break through. And so what if they do? So what if we hear Prior, for example, call a batsman a gimp – or Zaheer thinks Pietersen’s a hermaphrodite. This has been going on since WG Grace first threw away his razor. Is society so pathetically sensitive, or naive, that it can’t handle the odd bit of banter between players fighting tooth and nail?
And if so…just turn it off and let everyone get on with it. If anything goes too far, the match referee can slap them with a fine or whatever.
You? Should they be turned on or off? Vote below, then leave your comments. If you can’t see the poll below, click here.
Kevin Pietersen’s hundred against West Indies
By Will 3 years ago, mid-May, 3 Comments »
© Getty Images
Another quite brilliant innings. He is one of the most expert pacers of an innings I have seen; to watch him build the foundation in his first fifty, then explode during the second, was quite special. But what made it even more special was yet another confrontation with the opposition, this time with Chris Gayle.
Things were getting seriously heated, for no apparent reason. It went on for a good hour or hour-and-a-half, with Gayle chirping from the slips and Pietersen giving it back at the end of each over. There were shoulder barges, glaring, swearing, petulance from the bowler, daring-do from the batsman. Inside this Test, an entirely separate and very personal battle was taking place.
Aptly, Pietersen eventually fell to Gayle. They smiled, shook hands, and off he went. They may not be best mates, but they were big enough to acknowledge one another’s performance and not let their disagreement become bigger than the game. It was cricket at its most compelling.
3 Comments »Kumar Sangakkara sledging Shaun Pollock
By Will 3 years ago, mid-March, 7 Comments »
Really mmmmarvellous piece of sledging there from Kumar.
7 Comments »Nixon’s sledging tips
By Will 3 years ago, at the start of March, 12 Comments »
Paul “Badger” Nixon, who I’ve yet to see play, is the subject of a recent post at SMH’s The Tonk. Or rather, Badger’s sledging is the focus. They’ve reprinted some of his best, as originally found at The Sunday Times last week.
To Matthew Hayden (whom Nixon claimed expressed nothing but contempt for him): “Hey, Matty, this could be your last knock for Australia, mate. Hey, mate, don’t throw it all away, not in your last knock for your country.”
To Andrew Symonds: “Ah, Symo, great to see you, mate. How’s everyone, the family? I know you, Symo. If you edge me and I take the catch, I’m going to send you a copy of the scorecard to your home, every day for a year.”
To Ricky Ponting: “Ricky, I don’t think you’re that good at picking up a slow ball.” And believing it’s better to get the skipper’s mind off the game, get him out of the present, he adds: “What about the team for next week, Ricky – picked it yet? I saw those jazzy shoes you had made for yourself – very cool.”
To Michael Clarke, who had changed the sticker on his bat: “That old sticker, Michael, it was always lucky for you. The new one’s not going to bring you the same luck, wait and you see.” When Clarke replied that Nixon was nothing but a club cricketer, Nixon shot back: “How’s it going to feel, Michael, to be caught by a club cricketer? You know what, you’re going to make a club cricketer’s day.”
Not a patch on other sledges but brilliantly irritating.
12 Comments »Postcards from the Sledge (10 of 10)
By Will 4 years ago, at the end of November, 1 Comment »
The last of 10 postcards from Postcards from the Sledge. It’s the end of our exclusive run, and many thanks to Beach for allowing them here. Hopefully I’ve helped him sell a few. In 24 hours, the first ball will be hurled down in Brisbane and the sledging can really start.
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1 Comment »Postcards from the Sledge (9 of 10)
By Will 4 years ago, mid-November, 5 Comments »
The ninth of 10 postcards from Postcards from the Sledge
This has added relevance as Ian Thorpe is due to retire, apparently…
(1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9)
5 Comments »Postcards from the Sledge (3 of 10)
By Will 4 years ago, at the end of October, 9 Comments »
The third of 10 postcards from Postcards from the Sledge
