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Where’s the charm?
By Will 9 months ago, Comments
A fine and balanced piece by John Benaud in today’s Independent on Sunday. So good, in fact, that I’m pasting it below.
CommentsCricket is always having crises. Books are written and entitled, inevitably, ‘Cricket At The Crossroads’. You’ll recall Bodyline, the World Series Cricket breakaway… and in between the occasional tuppenny bunger, like pathetic over-rates, chucking and so on. Generally, there’s a good guy and a bad guy, and in the above real-deal controversies Douglas Jardine and Kerry Packer were nasties.
The India captain Anil Kumble’s self-indulgent hijacking of “good guy” Australia captain Bill Woodfull’s line “only one team is playing cricket”, uttered during the 1932-33 Bodyline series, was immediately spotted by us cynics with “ocker” accents as code for: “My team have just lost a Test nobody thought they could and I’d like you all to bag nasty Australia and their captain instead of me, in case back home they think we’re the bad guys and torch our houses.”
Ponting is tactically dull, abrasive, prone to snap and a sometimes ungracious winner, but of more urgent concern than any character study of him is the bunch of no-hopers who wander/administer aimlessly under the abbreviatedanonymity of “The ICC”.
One can only guess how embarrassing it must be to have anyone know you are officially part of the International Cricket Council and your claim to fame is the absolute shambles that passes for world cricket in 2008. Put the chief executive, Malcolm Speed, and his team in the dock and even Rumpole’s most junior solicitor could win, his case rested on the evidence of the World Cup last year.
Laws have been changed to accommodate bowlers who throw; the Darrell Hair case remains impossible to fathom, at least for those of us who played and understood the spirit of the game before the ICC lawyers measured out their runs; the crooks of Zimbabwe are rewarded with ongoing recognition; and now a talented umpire who has a bad game can be sent home.
There was a time when the greatest insult to an Australian cricketer was to mention the phrase “no sheep in the top paddock”. After the SCG Test the words “monkey” and “bastard” are apparently offensive. Speed and Co have a new challenge: compile a dictionary of words that are offensive to the modern cricketer, or his culture.
Before they make bigger asses of themselves they should recall the Collis King incident, Mount Smart Stadium, New Zealand, 1978. King, a most talented West Indian all-rounder then playing in World Series Cricket, took a terrible blow to the right groin and collapsed. The physio applied the magic “freeze” spray, but to no avail, and the stretcher arrived. This roused King, who looked down at his “magic-sprayed” groin, sat up abruptly and announced: “Jesus, I’m turning white; quick, spray me all over!”
Past players think modern cricket has no sense of humour, subtlety, finesse and characters, and little goodwill; that it lacks a certain class, charm even. Here’s proof: in 1961, Australia’s Richie Benaud and West Indies’ Frank Worrell agreed pre-series to “have some fun”.
In 2008, when Ponting and Kumble met before the start of the series, it was to discuss how best to defuse an evolving problem: fielders claiming catches that bounce. Cheating.
The ICC, with a little pressure from the odd cricket board, will surely find a way to legalise that in no time.
Richie Benaud t-shirts
By Will last year, mid-November, Comments
I want one of these now.
Brilliant. Sorry for lack of posts lately. Far too busy.
CommentsTWC commentator’s poll
By Jonathan Liew last year, at the end of September, Comments
The latest issue of the Wisden Cricketer features the now regular poll on readers’ favourite commentators. Geoff Boycott takes top spot, followed by Jonathan Agnew, David Lloyd, Michael Atherton and Michael Holding.
What does everyone think about that?
And why was Mark Nicholas
Cruel game for those on debut
By Ian last year, at the end of June, Comments
AFP
How bad must Malinda Warnapura be feeling? To get a Test golden duck is bad enough, but a golden duck on deboo, as Richie would say, against Bangladesh on a featherbed when your partner gets a ton must be crushing. He’s unlikely to bat again in this match and may not get another innings if Upul Tharanga returns from injury.
The only other deboo goldie I can remember was Alan Wells in 1995, caught Sherwin Campbell, bowled Curtly Ambrose. Again, most other batsmen did well on that track, including two hundreds (Lara and Hooper) and six others who made it to 80 and didn’t convert (four were out in the nervous 90s). Wells did at least make an unbeaten 3 in the second innings, but that was his lot.
I’m sure there were others?
CommentsLife after Benaud
By Ian last year, mid-June, Comments
On Desert Island Discs, you are allowed one luxury. Given mine would be a magical television that showed all available live cricket (as well as choice re-runs), I’d be able to pick my favourite pundits to describe the action. Who are my top commentators? In theory, I would only need two to cover the matches, but that would be unfair on them (I’m not a tyrant), so I’d hire five to mix it up and give the others a rest.
Therefore, below are my five favourite commentators. Benaud would have been there, of course, as would Brian Johnston, but we must all move on. There are honourable mentions for Lloyd, Gower, Holding, Dujon, Nasser, Knight, Ward, Smith, Lawry and Greig, but these five pick themselves.My Top Five: Michael Atherton, Jimmy Adams, Michael Slater, Geoff Boycott and Simon Hughes.
I can’t imagine anyone will disagree, but then it’s your island. Pick who you like!
CommentsA French XI
By Will last year, mid-May, Comments
Further to the French rules of cricket the other day, a Beige Brigadier has prompted this post (so blame him): a French XI. All names must have French origins, or sound vaguely Frenchish. Such as Richie Benaud, Jacques Kallis, Bernard Bosanquet (who?) and so on.
Far too much fun. Get to it.
CommentsSuper effort, that; a video or choo to chew over
By Will last year, mid-May, Comments
“Check one choo, check one choo.” Richie, Tony and Bill are back…well, not really. The video is a brilliant mashup of the latest 12th Man and actual footage of the last horrorshow train-wreck Ashes series. Courtesy of Mr Miller who somehow has found his way back to Blighty.
Click here if you can’t see it above.
CommentsSuper jacket, that
By Will 2 years ago, mid-December, Comments
The cream, the bone, the white, the off-white, the ivory, or the beige? It’s Richie Benaud from the 1974-75 series
Courtesy of TMS.
CommentsBoned: The 12th Man
By Will 2 years ago, at the end of November, Comments
Buy Boned: The 12th Man by Billy Birmingham
I’ve often mentioned Billy Birmingham’s 12th Man Tapes here, and most (not all) of Cricinfo’s editorial team are complete addicts. We heard from the latest Australian member of the team, Brydon, that Birmingham is releasing a new album in time for Christmas which got the biggest cheer of the day. Fantastic news.
Called Boned, it contains all the usual stuff with Richie Benaud, Tony Greig, Bill Lawry and Ian Chappell. It’s going to be immense - Amazon are doing pre-orders so buy it now.
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The Sydney Morning Herald have an interview with Birmingham who begins with what could be Quote of the Century.
Comments“I’m all over the place like a suicide bomber’s sandshoe,” he tells The Sun-Herald.
“There’s so much material. The drama has been trying to cut it all down so it fits onto a double album.”
The 12th Man’s catalogue stands at almost 2million units sold. Have no doubt about Boned!becoming the biggest-selling album at Christmas. All six previous albums from The 12th Man have reached No.1 on the ARIA chart, making Birmingham the only Australian recording artist to have reached top spot with every one of his releases.
“It couldn’t have happened in any other country,” he says. “We’re a nation of sports nuts and piss-takers and all I’ve done is combine the two.”
McGuire telephones Benaud and tells him he’s been boned: the term bandied about when the real-life McGuire was thinking about sacking Channel Nine presenter Jessica Rowe. That night, Richie dreams that he telephones Kerry Packer in heaven and the former Nine boss tells him to fight the good fight against McGuire. Benaud, Ian Chappell, Tony Greig, Bill Lawry, Mark Nicholas and the rest of the commentators storm Martin Place in Sydney with a petition to get their jobs back.
A Family Legacy (short cricket film)
By Will 2 years ago, at the end of October, Comments
We’ve been musing about Youtube recently at work, and are constantly baffled by the amount of stuff on the site. It really is mad.
But until now I hadn’t come across any short films (cricket-based)…this is well worth watching if you’ve 10 minutes spare. Some funny moments and a pretty good Richie Benaud impression (equally good impersonation of a kiwi commentator too!). Click here if you can’t see the video below.
CommentsYeah, but what was he doing in the broadcast box in the first place?
By Scott 2 years ago, mid-August, Comments
I was only mildly surprised to hear that Dean Jones had shot himself in the foot and shot his commentating career to Hell by making an outrageous remark about Hashim Amla.
Cricket watchers know Deano is not above making stupid remarks. His commentating career has demonstrated that he is an inexhaustable fund of imbecilic remarks. He covered Australia’s 2004 tour of India and drove me to distraction with his inanities. He mostly talks in cliches. In fact, he can talk in cliches till the cows come home.
In truth, he’s always been a self-centred and rather thoughtless individual who has a poor record of putting his mouth into action before engaging his brain. As a player, he alienated his team-mates with Australia, Victoria and even with Derbyshire. His file as a player, for all his brilliance as a batsman, was undoubtedly scarred with his ‘poor team player’ reputation.
I only needed one day of hearing Dean Jones as a commentator to understand that he was patently unsuitable for the position. He is constantly inflicted on Asian audiences, I guess because of his supposed credibility gained by playing 52 Tests for Australia. However, in those 52 Test matches, he learned nothing about what is required to be a broadcaster.
Quite rightly a lot of the focus of this controversy will fall onto Jones, for his disgraceful remarks. However, his employer, Ten Sports, also deserve a full measure of disapproval, for hiring someone who had a demonstrated inability to perform the fairly important job of cricket commentator with an appropriate degree of professionalism.
No doubt it is helpful to have played the game at at least first class level. However, playing ability is not broadcasting ability. The doyenne of television broadcasters, Richie Benaud, made a point of staying in England after Australia’s 1956 tour of England, to undertake a sports broadcasting course conducted by the BBC. He was also a trained newspaper journalist, in an era when Australian cricketers had to have a separate career. No million dollar salaries back then. So Benaud, who became the model of the player broadcaster, came to the microphone with a thorough and thoughtful understanding of the television industry. Few of his successors as player-broadcasters have had such a background, and it shows.
The appropriate model is perhaps the old fashioned radio model, where a professional journalist does the ball-by-ball comments, and the old player provides the expert commentary. On radio, the old pro has time to gather his thoughts, and thus (hopefully) sparing himself the embarrassment that Jones has put himself though. In one way, I suppose it is sad that Jones has self destructed in this way. But I ask you, what was he doing in that broadcast box in the first place?
CommentsClassic catches video
By Will 2 years ago, at the end of July, Comments
Some absolute stunning catches here, well worth watching if only to hear the commentators (Richie Benaud, Bill Lawrie and Tony Greig mainly) go nuts. That one by Mark Taylor at first slip was sensational…
CommentsGlassy shot
By Will 2 years ago, mid-July, Comments
I avoided the inevitable “Cricket commentators have a SMASHING time” for this post. Richard Grant, batting for Glamorgan, smashed a six through the commentators window. Edward Bevan and Steve Watkin were at the mic: cue two very confused, and slightly puterbed Welshmen.
Reminds me of The 12th Man tapes where Tony Greig is commentating. “Aw look out, it’s coming up here
Benaud - the voice is back
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of May, Comments
It’s not often that I can refer to two pieces in The News Of The World within a matter of hours. In fact, I can count on half my left hand the number of times I’ve read it in the past five years. It’s a fine publication I have no doubt, but I’d rather..well, I just think it’s crap.
However, I’d completely forgotten Richie Benaud’s famous and long-standing affiliation with the paper. He’s written for them since 1600, give or take a year, and I was amused to see the JPEG on their site (above) claiming “The VOICE is BACK“. The paper’s agenda is so clearly targetted at those with nothing better to do than scratch themselves in public, or eat microwaveable roast potatoes (I ask you - does anyone actually buy those things? What’s difficult about roasting a flipping tat?), so it’s amusing to see someone of Benaud’s stature and reverence rub column inches with ladies such as the one on the right.
Look at Benaud’s grin though - he’s loving it…
CommentsCricket on Channel Five
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of May, Comments
So, the first Test is upon us in a matter of days. This time tomorrow, Jon Lewis will be even less knowingly underbowled (probably); Sky will be wheeling out their trucks and TV monitors (and waking up Bob Willis from his slumber; “over rates. over rates. always the slow over rates”) and, more interestingly, Channel Five will become only the third terrestrial TV station in the UK to show cricket highlights.
Pleasingly, they’ve chosen a good spot - 7.15 pm. As good as Channel 4’s coverage was, they rather shot themselves in the foot with their highlights which were, frankly, dreadful. Half-an-hour of highlights is all very well, but not when the anchor man - Nicho! - speaks over most of the action. In a moment of particular boredom one day, I timed the actual cricket. There was 2 minutes of intros and over a minute at the end, not to mention the 2/3 minute advert-break in the middle. Worse still, they rarely stuck to one timeslot. It was sometimes on past midnight! Good one - yeah, that’ll draw the viewers in. The pervy freaks looking for soft porn must have got a shock when they heard the less-than-seductive tones of Simon Hughes talking about the lack of a fine leg or worse, pulling a bowler into the confectionary stand (and out again).
Anyway, Five have recruited The Great Nicho (Mark Nicholas), Sir Geoff (Geoff Boycott) and Mr Trucky himself (Simon Hughes). A fine team, that. In fact, so fine, I’m almost inclined to say it’s a shuper team, in honour of Richie Benaud who quite honestly deserves a post all to himself. This is the first summer since the Jurrassic era that Britons won’t have his quiet, understated musings in the background while they make their tea; pick up their shopping; shout at the kids or whatever. Worse still, we don’t get to hear Choo for Chwenty Choo again. Travesty upon travesty. Console yourselves.
Incidentally, don’t try saying his name if your moustache is wet. It has a tendancy to sound like the perfect chav-mobile for a chavette (Bitchy Renault). Stone the crows - why didn’t I think of that before? Someone get me Renault on the phone!
Anyway, the reason for this inane, banal stream of tripe - masquerading as a post - is Five just emailed me to say their site is now live. So go and look at it and tell them how wonderful you think it is, and also tell them what a wonderful blog this is and that you found their site because of the Corridor. And seeing as you’re being so generous, you might as well tell them how great you think I am (you can lie. In fact, please do).
The summer has begun. Incidentally, I went to the dogs on Friday (Wimbledon) - and what a brilliant night out it is. My mate had a bunch of coupons from the Racing Post so not only did we all get in free, we got a free pint to start proceedings and a free £2 bet. I’ll have some of that, oh yes. One of our crowd is particularly keen on the old gambling…not sure how much he won, but it was into the hundreds. Or so he told us…great night though. Masses to drink, masses of laughter, masses of shouting at dogs (and greyhounds) and “what colour’s number 3? what bloody colour is trap 3? Oh nevermind, that’ll be the dog at the back. At the back and on his back!”
Posting will be up on and off for a bit, as mentioned the other day. Scott’s around to keep it fresh and watered.
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