| 
Posts and words
Loading ...
puns
Sizzling Onions relishes opportunity
By Will last year, at the end of April, 3 Comments »
If you ever meet a journalist or writer, never assume they will take either themselves or their subject seriously. This is particularly true for cricket writers, most of whom fancy themselves as witty masters of that underrated genre: the amusing pun.
Graham Onions. Ah, thank God. At last. We’ve waited so long for this, and in a few short days, I will be doing my utmost to slip in inappropriate food-references to Cricinfo’s commentary whenever he is bowling. This isn’t a choice, you understand: this is an affliction, an illness. Onions sizzles, Onions five-fer fries West Indies; Onions’ eye-watering debut. The list goes on.
The best team for food-related puns are Namibia. They have not one, but two Burgers in their side. And they used to have someone called Kola. “Kola fizzes but Burgers put on meaty stand”. And one particularly brilliant one I came up with just two weeks ago: “Namibia play ketchup after beefy Burger ton”. Dreadful, awful and painful humour, I know, but often much-needed on long shifts.
Patrick’s come up with XI foodie-named cricketers and I’m shamelessly going to steal them:
3 Comments »Alastair Cook
Jack Hobbs
Mark Butcher
CP Fry
Allan Lamb
Shaun Pollock
Clifford Roach
Doug Bollinger
Bobby Peel
William Moule
Arthur Mold
Broom called up. Puns galore
By Will 2 years ago, at the end of December, 10 Comments »
I see Neil Broom has been called up to New Zealand’s one-day squad. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.
“Broom sweeps into one-day side”
“Broom brushes off debut disappointment”
“Broom dusts down West Indies with bristly performance”
“Broom broom. Broom. Broooom, brrroooooom”
“Broom takes long handle to Windies spinners” *
“Tidy debut from Broom”
Your turn.
Happy festivities and new year, incidentally. I’m lurking in the west country and eating far too much.
* (I really am brilliant)
10 Comments »