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patrick-kidd
Cape Town day one: honours even?
By Rich Abbott 2 months ago, 2 Comments »
Which camp will be happier with today’s play?
A definitive answer will be known by lunch tomorrow. From South Africa’s point of view, that the answer to the question isn’t obvious, is down to one man: Jacques Kallis.
Whilst a potential Jonathan Trott Newlands hundred may be the best story-waiting-to-happen, a Jacques Kallis one was the most inevitable. His 33rd Test century may end up being one of his most important. South Africa needed it.
The number of the day in the world of Test cricket, was 127. It was the total a Mohammad Asif-inspired Pakistan managed to skittle Australia for, to the nearly-but-not-quite-suppressed delight of Patrick Kidd over at Line and Length, and the South African score at a point in this match when England were doing really quite well. 127-3 became 127-5 in the space of two balls as Graeme Swann (who else?) brought his customary drama to proceedings.
At that point, in the 42nd over, it was England’s day, and only a few quick wickets from being their series. But from then on, Kallis set about evening out the equation. Some great batsmen always give the bowler reason to believe they’re in with a chance. Some great batsmen don’t, and Kallis is in the latter category. With his late bat movement, razor sharp feet positioning and a technique so straight it impresses even Boycott, Kallis is a bugger to get out.
He now averages 70.72 in Tests on his home ground, and at 34, his powers show scant sign of decline. In 2009 he averaged 48.36 in Test cricket, playing in a team that won only one of its six matches.
Does a man boasting over 10,000 runs and 250 wickets in Tests possess a weakness? The answer would be no, if only his personal website didn’t list Titanic as his favourite film.
2 Comments »Best of Enemies: Whinging Poms Versus Arrogant Aussies
By Will last year, mid-January, 6 Comments »
My old chum Patrick Kidd has written his first book, and it’s available to pre-order for the frankly disgustingly cheap £9.49. That’s under a tenner in today’s money – and less than 950 pence. Other currencies are available.
Don’t hesitate for one second: buy it immediately.
Product Description
One of the great rivalries in sport returns this summer, but what is it about a six-inch terracotta urn that en flames the passions of Poms and Aussies? Why do the English think that all Australians are alcoholic simpletons? Why do Australians think the English all have a stick up their backside? And why do they need (and needle) each other so much? In this humorous look at one of the truly great rivalries, written by “The Times’” cricket blogger and a professional Australian bar-room pontificator, the grudges, sledges, heroes and villains are laid bare.
About the Author
Patrick Kidd is a cricket and rowing writer who has been with The Times in London since 2001. He also writes for Wisden, Wisden Cricketer, and appears regularly on television and radio as a pundit.Peter McGuinness grew up being told that Poms were blokes from England who were never happy about anything. He now knows why. He writes a cricket blog.
Bruised by Hoggy
By Will 2 years ago, mid-June, No Comments; be the first!
Friend of the blog; friend of beer; friend of cheese, Patrick Kidd, has been bruised like a pear by Matthew Hoggard. Stop laughing – you’d do no better and nor would I.
Never trust a Yorkshireman, even those with an amiable gait. That’s what I say.
No Comments »Pillock of the month
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of February, 4 Comments »
The Times’s Patrick Kidd has given up his attempt to be a polite cricket correspondent, and has announced a new monthly competition: The Line and Length Pillock of the Month.
It’s a damn fine idea, and god knows we have a host of losers to choose from. Pillock is one of those excellent words that can be used in all circles of life. You can call a bowler a pillock; a builder a pillock; your colleague a pillock. We’re all pillocks, at some time or another. Other favourite words include twassock, tosser, cretin, spanner, spoon and – Cricinfo London’s latest favourite – numpty.
My brother once ordered me to call one of his mates a cretin and I, aged about six, got a smack round the face for it. Ergo, my brother is not a cretin but a tosser. I am considerably taller than him now though, despite continued threats into my twenties that he will sever my ankles.
4 Comments »Geekery on Hussey
By Will 3 years ago, mid-November, 1 Comment »
Outstanding geekery from Patrick this morning:
Even I wouldn’t dare put this up on the blog – would look like I am far too sad – but I did some number crunching and I reckon that Hussey needs to average just under 109 per innings between now and the Ashes (assuming he plays in every game scheduled and gets not outs at the present rate) in order for him to be averaging 100 over his career by the time the Ashes start!
Update: the geek is out of the closet!
1 Comment »Got a minute or ten?
By Will 3 years ago, mid-July, 1 Comment »
I had the good fortune of (finally) meeting Patrick Kidd for lunch today and, among other things, he told us about his interview with Rahul Dravid yesterday (certainly worth reading). He managed 800 words – a fine feat considering he was afforded just two minutes with the India captain. Two. He and another journalist were given five “precious” minutes with him which never ceases to annoy me. With such a short time frame, you often end up firing questions at them, nodding furiously but not listening sufficiently, and it becomes a barrage for the interviewee. Of course, neither party – least of all those being interviewed – have hours and hours spare. But all we’re asking for is 10 minutes. That’s a fair amount of time in which to conduct a decent interview and get to know the human behind the sound-bites.
In Ireland, I was lucky to speak to a number of the players and the restrictions were far less. Rare and priceless. I wonder if and when that’ll ever happen? Anyway – go and read Patrick’s piece and of course his blog, Line and Length, immediately.
1 Comment »Fatty Batter: How Cricket Saved My Life (Then Ruined It)
By Will 3 years ago, mid-May, 4 Comments »
“Never judge a book by its cover,” my Dad (and probably most others in the world) used to say. Maybe due to the rebel in me, or youthful naivety, I thought he was speaking in tongues again. Yes yes, the contents are what’s most important, but I’ve always maintained that if the cover is good, the insides must be even better. That’s right: I am that stupid. Pillock though I am, my methods haven’t yet let me down.
This book isn’t one of them, but it might as well be. I’ve seen it lying on my boss’s desk and it’s only a matter of time before I wade through it. And Patrick’s reviewed it for the paper, in which he says:
THERE IS SOMETHING almost autistic about cricket lovers. Not those who can actually play. Nor the Barmy Army types, whose main purpose at a match, it appears, is to tell fellow spectators in a beer-soaked caterwaul that everywhere they go, people want to know who they are and so on.
The most touching scenes are of Simkins the child, playing cricket in his father’s sweet-shop in Brighton, spending his holidays at the county ground in Hove trying to get autographs or constructing an entire season’s county championship under his bed with a dice game. It brought back memories of another rather sad child who devised a complicated set of rules based on my calculator’s random number generator so that I could play cricket during maths lessons.
Ah, Howzat. Every cricket fan has been there, though I found history the best lesson in which to steal the strike. What amazed me was how devastating Wacar Yewniss (for that is how my dyslexic friend spelled his name) was. Even in fantasy land, he sent down toe-crushers. I think my worst was 2 all out. And did anyone else play table football with a 10p piece? (also available in rugby and hockey editions, depending on your inventiveness in creating goalposts with your hands). Halcyon days.
4 Comments »Cricketing lookalikes
By Will 4 years ago, mid-October, 17 Comments »
Patrick is doing grand things with his blog. He’s proving that a broadsheet correspondent can react and adapt to the slightly more relaxed format, all the while maintaining his own style across both. Other papers and large media establishments have adopted blogs with worrying bandwagonnery, forgetting that it remains an editorial tool; the best blogs are well written, be that by a fan or an editor. The emphasis really must remain on quality content, not just the fanfare of joining in the party (and putting up your hand). I am as guilty as most of writing bullshit, as the rest of this post perfectly demonstrates – but at least I’m a consistent waffler!
If you haven’t read his blog yet, do.
He asked me for some lookalikes (see his post) and the only one I could come up with, off the top of my cranium, was Ned Flanders and John Buchanan. I’m surprised the Barmy Army haven’t cottoned onto it yet; perhaps they will this winter with cries of “Okily-dokily-doo”. In fact, as depressingly cheery Ned is, I’d rather him at a press conference than most coaches.
“Hididdily-ho, paradise dwellers”
“Hello, John. Happy with today’s performance, or do you feel you’re perhaps a hundred runs short?”
“Hot diggity! Indeedily-doodily-do!”
“Yyyyep, moving on…”
Incidentally, “Ned’s three Cs” are: Clean living, chewing thoroughly, and a daily dose of vitamin “church”. Loser.
So – your lookalikes, please.
Incidentally I’ve never really bought the Simpsons thing. I think it’s a bit like Marmite, but not nearly as tasty. I was further put off when I heard Richard, of Richard and Judy “fame”, said it was the best thing since sliced bread; he really is a twit. And continuing this tremendously pointless ramble, I saw him not long ago in a dingy pub in London. He double-parked his Jag outside, rushed in with a face like thunder and stormed to the gents. No sooner had I alerted the entire establishment of a TV personality in our midst – and Richard Madely – than he sprinted out again and flew off in his car.
Here endeth the waffle.
17 Comments »The new generation of umpires
By Will 4 years ago, at the end of September, No Comments; be the first!
Prolific Patrick – and that’s not his full name – has another interesting article on his blog, this time on Michael Gough, the former Durham batsman-turned-umpire. He’s just 26 and was highly regarded as a young player (he represented England Under-19s) – and is now a first-class umpire, which is an interesting development. Talking to Patrick, he says: “All sports officials are getting younger,” Gough said. “It is no longer for old guys in white jackets.”
Worth a read.
No Comments »Trescothick’s dedication
By Will 4 years ago, at the end of September, 4 Comments »
Patrick, he of Times fame, has a really interesting interview with Howard Clayton, the “official” England Under-19 scorer who has seen the likes of Darren Gough, Michael Vaughan, Alastair Cook and Marcus Trescothick early in their cricketing careers. This struck out, though:
Who knows which members of the present team will become Test stars? Sometimes it is not always the cockiest who succeed. Clayton was struck by the attitude of a teenaged Trescothick, who in 1994 was teased by his team-mates for wearing his England cap and blazer after matches had finished. “He told them: ‘It might be the closest I get to playing for England,’ ” Clayton said. If only other players showed such pride and dedication.
Trescothick has always intrigued me. He arrived to Test cricket clearly mentally suited to the demands, if not technically astute; his near-total lack of feet movement early on looked awkward and horrible. He’s made a fine career in spite of these failings, and from very early on was part of Nasser Hussain and Duncan Fletcher’s team meetings, suggesting a wise head on then-young shoulders. But it was when he spoke of his hatred of bullying in the dressing room – and a need, he felt, of equality – which made me sit up and notice. He’s a quiet bloke, undemonstrative and doesn’t enjoy the spotlight; happier in Taunton than Trinidad.
Let’s not forget (not that we are) what a fine record he has: 5825 runs at 43.79, 14 hundreds and 29 fifties. That’s decent, for an opening bat.
4 Comments »