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Strap in: here comes the circus
By Will 1 month ago, 19 Comments »
We work alongside other journalists every day at our shiny ESPN towers, and I was chatting to a football scribe the other day about the IPL. He admitted to be “gagging” for the start, itching to witness what he considers to be a “mini World Cup”. It probably says rather a lot that he, who only has a passing interest in my sport, is more curious about the forthcoming IPL than I am.
Well, that’s not strictly accurate. I am definitely curious about it all - I just hate and loath the premise and the impact it will inevitably have. Cricket’s landscape has changed forever. But the prospect of watching Ricky Ponting and Ishant Sharma representing the same team - the Kolkata Knight Riders! - captained by Sourav Ganguly, is too ridiculous and balmy not to slap my thighs like a baboon and yelp “bring it on”. It’s a brilliant farce, succinctly described by The Sunday Telegraph’s Scyld Berry:
The owner of Kolkata Knight Riders is Shah Rukh Khan, as famous as any Indian film star. Their main sponsor is Nokia. Their coach is John Buchanan, simply the most successful coach ever in international cricket, as he was Australia’s last. Their opening batsman is Chris Gayle, the man reviving West Indian cricket, with a style of hair and cricket to rival Symonds; their wicketkeeper/batsman is Brendon McCullum, the nearest New Zealand come to a star cricketer; and Ponting is a useful batsman. Ganguly said: “I was personally present at the auction. Every franchise had an amount of $5 million to spend as a maximum, and there is a restriction of eight overseas players in each franchise, and you can play only four at a time. We have to have four Indian under-21 players, two under-19s, and four local players from our catchment area.”
My team will be the Kolkata Knight Riders - yes, because I can hear the twangy theme tune of the coolest TV programme ever made providing another absurd backdrop to the quacky-wacky madness of the whole charade. What odds KITT might appear to present the winners - and I use that term loosely - with a replica Pontiac Trans Am?
The tournament hasn’t even begun but already there are major concerns surrounding its coverage, though they have eased slightly today. The IPL has prevented websites from covering the tournament from the ground itself - they will not provide accrediation to journalists representing new media - and applied restrictions to the sale/rights of photos. Talk about shooting themselves in the foot. A boycott by at least one major media group surely beckons. Not the ideal start, but somehow appropriate.
19 Comments »All’s not quiet
By Will 2 months ago, 1 Comment »
I live in the epitome of suburbia. It tries to pretend it’s not by virtue of its proximity to a major London tube station, but everyone knows its kidding itself. Regardless, even this leafy London village is not immune to acts of madness.
I’m trying to watch a relaxing, violent film in the peace of my house, but a carload of eastern europeans are causing a riot outside. It’s almost more entertaining than the film. A stream of screaming persisted for about 20 minutes before the screamer, a man, started thumping his fists on top of the car, booming his hatred for all the road to hear. The revs got louder, and some of the girls began a piercingly loud scream (one of terror, it has to be said) as our man climbed ontop of the car, spread-eagled, holding onto the roof-rack runners on either side. Just when it couldn’t get any more Vice City, the car did what we all feared (but secretly hoped) and sped off with man clinging on! He did a pretty good job of holding on, and the car pootled down the street - the lights in each house flicking on, one after the other, as the screams died away.
And now, silence. Not a murmur out there, save for suburbia’s gossipers and do-gooders. No body, no nothing. Back to the film, and the more peaceful world of cricket.
1 Comment »Cricket, the new cologne
By Will last year, mid-September, 8 Comments »
There are no words I can use to describe the horror that is this video. Cricket; the new cologne.
Click here if you can’t see the video.
8 Comments »A biodegradable cricket box
By Will 2 years ago, mid-December, 2 Comments »
What single requirement do you think a cricket box should meet? Comfortable? If possible. Sturdy? Certainly. Able to withstand a leather cricket ball hurled at it at great velocity? Yes. However, manufacturers have been overlooking the ecological aspect of the cricketer’s best friend: it’s not degreadeable.
So a mad-hatter in Britain (always in Britain) has designed the first eco, biodegradeable box. This is all very inventive and so forth, but who really lies awake at night worrying about these things? Are there a mountain of discarded, lonely, pathetic cricket boxes piled high behind pavilions around the country?
It gets even better. Ben Foster, the mad-hatter, took the box for a test drive - as it were. And it survived…but he was hit in the face by Charlie Shrek.
More nonsense at the BBC.
Angry India fan kills nephew
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of November, 4 Comments »
There is no doubting India’s obsession/addiction/love for cricket but stories such are these are rare, thankfully so, and a bit disturbing. It’s a bloody game:
Madness for cricket has cost a child his life as his uncle - a police official - banged his head on the floor after India’s loss to Australia on Monday. The Chandigarh police registered a complaint against the relative on Wednesday.
[...]
According to the parents of the child, Malkit Singh was watching the crucial Champions Trophy match between India and Australia, played at Mohali near here, in their house in Sector 30 and had an argument with other family members over India’s poor show in cricket.
In a fit of rage, he picked up the child and banged his head two-three times on the floor. Before the child’s family could react to save the child, the damage had been done.
More at DNA.
4 Comments »The beer worm at Headingley
By Will 2 years ago, mid-August, 7 Comments »
Even Getty were photographing this during the third Test at Headingley. Cricket: it really is the new football…
7 Comments »Did I miss something? I certainly did!
By Scott 2 years ago, at the end of April, 2 Comments »
Sorry to the masses of readers reader who wanted an open thread about the South Africa vs New Zealand Test in Cape Town, which started last night. I’m not as overworked as Will is, although I am quite frankly appallingly underpaid. I’m considering holding out posting until Will doubles my salary to be honest. The writers united will never be defeated, we’ll just hold out for the draw.
 Anyway, Stephen Fleming got a century last night, which is a rare or special moment for him. I can’t think of a finer batsman in world cricket who is SO bad at converting good starts into centuries. So I really hope he goes on with it. His innings held together New Zealand’s innings on the opening day after South Africa won the toss and sent them in. New Zealand are 265 for 6, and if Fleming and the tail can nurdle out another 100 runs, they will be well set for this Test match.
 Neil Manthrope discusses the schedule. I want you, dear readers, to discuss New Zealand’s chances of getting to 400, and what a fair salary for me is. Should I hold out for groupies?
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2 Comments »South Africa chase down 435 to beat Australia
By Will 2 years ago, mid-March, 54 Comments »
Nothing to add. South Africa have just chased down 435 to win a game of cricket. 434 was the highest score a few hours ago, broken now by South Africa. Andrew Miller’s bulletin will be up soon, so go and read that, the scorecard, and whatever. Ahhh, it’s a great game is cricket!
54 Comments »1000 Murali wickets
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of March, 8 Comments »
I think it was Courtney Walsh who first broke through the 500-Test barrier and, at the time, I remember feeling utterly amazed that anyone could have got so far. I was equally doubtful that anyone would ever better it. Since then, Shane Warne and Muttiah Muraliatharan have waltzed past it as though it were nothing; Warne broke past 600 at Old Trafford in the summer. Today, though, Murali has gone past 1000 international wickets! It makes Walsh’s effort look pitiful and feeble*
Rather appropriately, his 100th wicket was controversial: “Khaled Mashud was given out caught when the ball only hit his pad” (S.Rajesh / Cricinfo)
* I am, of course, joking. It’s all very well for these glitzy spinners to take hundreds of wickets, but it’s all the more incredible for a fast bowler to manage it.
8 Comments »Shahid Afridi’s hundred v India
By Will 2 years ago, mid-January, 18 Comments »
Just seen this on ceefax. Pakistan have declared on 679 for 7 with Afridi, 103, hitting 27 from one over. Freak!
18 Comments »Something worrying is happening
By Will 3 years ago, at the end of September, 13 Comments »
Something worrying is happening. A group of girls are chatting, rather obsessively, about Kevin Pietersen. 200 comments and counting. I posted my thoughts on KP after his one-day exploits in South Africa…8 months ago, and they’re still chatting.
Madness
PS: You’d think while chatting, they could at least click on a few ads to make me a bob or two!
13 Comments »England WIN The Ashes!!
By Will 3 years ago, mid-September, 22 Comments »
England WIN The Ashes!! Can you believe it? 18 years England has waited - a lifetime, for some, like me. And, finally, they’re back with us. Far too busy at Cricinfo, but maybe tomorrow I’ll have something intelligable to say.
Enjoy and savour this moment; it’s been the best series in cricket, ever.
22 Comments »South Africa’s Hashim Amla
By Will 4 years ago, mid-December, 1 Comment »
I couldn’t beleive this when I heard it. Hashim Amla, young 21 year old Saffer and a devout muslim, won’t and doesn’t wear the SA shirt sponsored by Castle Lager because it’s against his religious beliefs. (the tee-total bit I suppose). I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anything like this before, certainly not in cricket. Presumabely if Castle are the team’s main sponsors, they’ll pay for lots of perks and give the players odds and sods (like Vodafone do for England, and 3 do for Australia). I presume any perks offered to Amla will be politely refused, even if it’s non-beer-related….
Weird world we live in
1 Comment »