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Amo, amas, a rant
By Will 2 years ago, at the end of June, 7 Comments »
I know I’m ranting a lot lately - normal cricketing service shall resume shortly. But I must just get this off my (spluttering) chest. I’m watching Tim Henman, which often induces sporadic fits of frustration in me. Onwards…
I have a tendency to look a bit rough-and-ready at the best of times. Therefore, when I’m ill I closely resemble a homeless person. Incidentally, that’s probably politically incorrect. “A less homely person”? On a similar point, did you know “disabled” has all but been banned? Those lacking ability, or movement, are “less abled” which, from my time at the NHS, was met with guffaws by the dozen of so wheelchair-bound patients who I worked with on a daily basis).
Anyway, with a four-day beard and genuinely feeling like a dog, I marched into my local surgery. “Hello, would it be possible to see a Doctor? I think I’m about to die” weren’t my exact words, but it was plain as day that I was clearly not there to make up the numbers, or offer her a discount on a handmade cuckoo clock from Milton Keynes. Nor do I have a taste for ketamine or other bizarre drugs: I just need some antibiotics. Here’s what she said.
“We don’t have any doctors here today.”
WHAT? You’re a fucking surgery. Your signpost outside clearly states you are not only open now, at midday, but that you will be open until six. Open but Doctorless - welcome to (Old) Labour’s vision of how to reduce an ageing population: kill us all before we reach 65. How, then, can she help me?
“You can come back tomorrow. We should have a doctor then.”
Terrific. That’s just brilliant - just brilliant. My problem with this is twofold: there are many, many other people who are far, far worse off than me. What would they do? Not a bloody lot I imagine. Secondly, could she have been any less helpful? It’s all about numbers, figures, databases, and targets these days. When I was at the NHS, we were similarly crippled in booking patients on for operations or clinics, but every day we made exceptions where possible.
Anyway, I’m now eating chicken soup which, apparently, is also known as Jewish penicillin.
7 Comments »I’m not chasing loose women
By Will 2 years ago, at the end of January, 5 Comments »
Far be it for me to turn this into a public “Where’s Will” thing, but I felt it pertinent to reply to Scott’s shameful accusations of me “chasing loose women.” More’s the pity. I’m not doing that, nor am I entrenched in an alcoholic stupor…I’ve got bloody flu again, and feel like death warmed up. The closest I’ve come to anything Scott has inferred is being high on Day Night Nurse…!
5 Comments »South Africa got the runs
By Will 4 years ago, mid-December, No Comments; be the first!
Like the pun? I thought it was quite good for me 
I of course refer to the other type of runs. [via Cricinfo]
South Africa’s cricketers are not finding it easy to stay fit for the first Test against England at Port Elizabeth that starts on Friday, December 17. Six of them are suffering from illness or injury.
Boeta Dippenar has food poisioning while Graeme Smith, Zander de Bruyn and Andrew Hall are all a bit tender in the stomach, according to the Johannesburg-based newspaper The Star. Thami Tsolekile has tonsillitis and their front-line spinner Nicky Boje, who, unlike the others, did not go to India, is still recovering from surgery to remove a growth from the thyroid gland.
“We’re taking it day by day, but we have to remember Nicky is also suffering a bit from the effects of the medication he’s using,” said Shane Jabaar, the team physiotherapist. “Nicky’s heart-rate is still very high and he gets tired quite quickly, but we’re giving him a chance to show he’s ok. But we’re certainly not going to push him.”
Ray Jennings, the national coach, was also unwilling to say whether Boje will be fit for the first Test. “He’s getting better, but we’ll have a look at him in two days’ time,” he admitted. “He’s mature and old enough to know if he’s up to playing.” But he also went on to say: “I’m not at all concerned about which 11 play.”
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