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idiocy
Idiocy epitomised
By Will 1 month ago, 3 Comments »
A couple of weeks ago, a friend went ballistically excited on me having just met Shahid Afridi. She is easily pleased, but nevertheless I began briefly to put aside my cynicism over Afridi. All that talent, bravado and bombast contrasting with, well, his inner demons. Will it go for six or will he sky it? That, in essence, seemed to be the way he conducted his life, not just his batting.
Captaincy could have changed him; he’s no spring chicken these days, after all, and Pakistan have a lot of impressionable young players to whom Afridi must be something of a demi-god. And then he bites a cricket ball with all the cameras zoned in on him, discarding years of experience, dispensing with maturity and utterly wringing his hands of professional responsibility, personal pride and common human sense. Were it not so ludicrously stupid, it would be a beautiful thing to watch in years to come.
Of all the players to do it, it had to be Afridi. Of all the countries to be afflicted by an act of such lunacy, it just had to be Pakistan. They are taking hold of this decade and ensuring they begin it right where they left off in the noughties. The only redeeming feature from the whole escapade was (apart from the ensuing nauseous hilarity that it even took place) Mark Nicholas’s sober, yet startled, opinion. “Woops. Wwwwwwwwoops!”
Idiocy epitomised. Thank you, Afridi, and a very good night.
3 Comments »Onions heralds the new era. Or does he?
By Will last year, at the start of May, 8 Comments »
Wonderful spell by Graham Onions today. He left West Indies’ batsmen looking clueless and cold: they hate May in England, as most touring sides do, in spite of our unseasonally good weather. Onions aside, there were two baffling pieces of idiocy by England today.
The first was the decision by Bopara and Swann to take the “bad light”. This is an evil disease of cricket, and although it’s easy to blame the players, the real fault lies with the ICC and umpires for removing all common sense from the equation. The light was fine to play cricket. Nobody would have died. These are trained sportsmen who are used to facing bowling of all types, in all conditions. The umpires will have taken a reading when the sun was out and, consequently when it became gloomy (and the sun was in), the difference in the two readings seemed to prompt an automatic offer of the light to the batsmen. This is absurd. How can umpires become so rigidly tied to laws and regulations yet forsake common sense? These batsmen have enough protection to go on the front line in Helmand Province, and yet the pair took the silly risk of possibly throwing away the momentum (England had raced along until this point). It was a stupid mistake which, fortunately, didn’t cost them. But it so easily could have, and cricket as a whole – especially Test cricket, in these changing times – desperately needs a dose of common sense.
The second incident was Andrew Strauss’s decision (or was it Andy Flower’s?) to open with Graeme Swann. Yes, Swann had a day to remember, but he is no Shane Warne. Why would you leave out your best bowler, James Anderson, and toss the new ball to a spinner? This too didn’t cost England, who later savaged West Indies’ lineup with a fine allround performance, but it again smacked of fuddled thinking – trying to be too clever.
England ought to wrap this up tomorrow, bar a miracle from Chanderpaul and someone else, and the performances of Onions, Swann and Bopara will swell the pride of selectors and fans. Let’s not get carried away, though, and remember that West Indians aren’t crash hot on a Lord’s greentop in May. But let’s also remember that perhaps for the first time in decades, England have a more dangerous spinner (and possibly spin attack) than Australia.
He bats and catches, too. Our new Gilo has been found.
8 Comments »Buchanan saves the kookiest ideas till last
By Scott 4 years ago, at the end of December, 18 Comments »
Sydney is not only the swansong for Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath; it is also the last Test for John Buchanan as Australian coach. And not a moment too soon, if his latest media intervention is anything to go by.
Speaking to reporters at the MCG this morning, Buchanan said Australia was hoping for more of a challenge from England, which he thought had played without aggression, self-belief or thought of challenging the opposition for large parts of the Ashes series.
“I’m hoping that they really enjoy the New Year, come back with a new resolve and are really ready to take us on head-on in Sydney,” Buchanan said.
“I think we’ve been tested at certain periods of time but England haven’t been able to sustain their skills through the course of a five-day Test match. We’re quite looking forward to that in Sydney.
Short of baring his arse at the England team bus, I can’t think of a more insulting thing that Buchanan could have done. As an Australian, I can tell you that I wouldn’t have been too impressed if Duncan Fletcher had come out before the Oval Test in 2005 daring Australia to fire up.
It is a well established rule in all sports, not just cricket, that when speaking to the media of your opposition, you speak of them respectfully, and give them their due as worthy opponents. It does not matter if Australia are playing England, Zimbabwe, or Andorra at Test cricket.
When it comes to religion, I am an atheist. However, I am a devout believer in the cricketing Gods, and I fear their wrath. Buchanan’s actions could provoke a powerful response.
And I give thanks to all the Great Cricketing Gods that this is Buchanan’s last Test in charge. I’ll miss Warnie and Pigeon. Not sure I’ll miss Ned Flanders though.
18 Comments »