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graham-onions
Separated at birth: Graham Onions and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
By Will last year, mid-August, 1 Comment »
There’re some fun photos on Jonathan Agnew’s Twitter of Graham Onions and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Iranian president. All sorts of witty suggestions, including this one of Onions discussing tactics with Nasser Hussain.
Mad and silly is good. We like good.
1 Comment »Onions heralds the new era. Or does he?
By Will last year, at the start of May, 8 Comments »
Wonderful spell by Graham Onions today. He left West Indies’ batsmen looking clueless and cold: they hate May in England, as most touring sides do, in spite of our unseasonally good weather. Onions aside, there were two baffling pieces of idiocy by England today.
The first was the decision by Bopara and Swann to take the “bad light”. This is an evil disease of cricket, and although it’s easy to blame the players, the real fault lies with the ICC and umpires for removing all common sense from the equation. The light was fine to play cricket. Nobody would have died. These are trained sportsmen who are used to facing bowling of all types, in all conditions. The umpires will have taken a reading when the sun was out and, consequently when it became gloomy (and the sun was in), the difference in the two readings seemed to prompt an automatic offer of the light to the batsmen. This is absurd. How can umpires become so rigidly tied to laws and regulations yet forsake common sense? These batsmen have enough protection to go on the front line in Helmand Province, and yet the pair took the silly risk of possibly throwing away the momentum (England had raced along until this point). It was a stupid mistake which, fortunately, didn’t cost them. But it so easily could have, and cricket as a whole – especially Test cricket, in these changing times – desperately needs a dose of common sense.
The second incident was Andrew Strauss’s decision (or was it Andy Flower’s?) to open with Graeme Swann. Yes, Swann had a day to remember, but he is no Shane Warne. Why would you leave out your best bowler, James Anderson, and toss the new ball to a spinner? This too didn’t cost England, who later savaged West Indies’ lineup with a fine allround performance, but it again smacked of fuddled thinking – trying to be too clever.
England ought to wrap this up tomorrow, bar a miracle from Chanderpaul and someone else, and the performances of Onions, Swann and Bopara will swell the pride of selectors and fans. Let’s not get carried away, though, and remember that West Indians aren’t crash hot on a Lord’s greentop in May. But let’s also remember that perhaps for the first time in decades, England have a more dangerous spinner (and possibly spin attack) than Australia.
He bats and catches, too. Our new Gilo has been found.
8 Comments »Sizzling Onions relishes opportunity
By Will last year, at the end of April, 3 Comments »
If you ever meet a journalist or writer, never assume they will take either themselves or their subject seriously. This is particularly true for cricket writers, most of whom fancy themselves as witty masters of that underrated genre: the amusing pun.
Graham Onions. Ah, thank God. At last. We’ve waited so long for this, and in a few short days, I will be doing my utmost to slip in inappropriate food-references to Cricinfo’s commentary whenever he is bowling. This isn’t a choice, you understand: this is an affliction, an illness. Onions sizzles, Onions five-fer fries West Indies; Onions’ eye-watering debut. The list goes on.
The best team for food-related puns are Namibia. They have not one, but two Burgers in their side. And they used to have someone called Kola. “Kola fizzes but Burgers put on meaty stand”. And one particularly brilliant one I came up with just two weeks ago: “Namibia play ketchup after beefy Burger ton”. Dreadful, awful and painful humour, I know, but often much-needed on long shifts.
Patrick’s come up with XI foodie-named cricketers and I’m shamelessly going to steal them:
3 Comments »Alastair Cook
Jack Hobbs
Mark Butcher
CP Fry
Allan Lamb
Shaun Pollock
Clifford Roach
Doug Bollinger
Bobby Peel
William Moule
Arthur Mold
Live discussion: England v Pakistan, 4th ODI, Trent Bridge
By Will 4 years ago, mid-September, 8 Comments »
In an unsettling development, England nearly competed on an even keel in the third ODI against Pakistan at The Rose Bowl. They nearly took them to the wire, too. Today is the fourth of the five-match series and yet again England are faced with a selection headache. Marcus Trescothick’s withdrawal from the Champions Trophy means he could miss today’s match, too, as Andrew Strauss alluded to. And surely one of Sajid Mahmood or Rikki Clarke will be dropped in place of Graham Onions; at least, we hope so.
Weather is set fine, so we should have a full day’s play – although, inevitably, the dew and moisture of Britain’s late summer will affect conditions under the lights. I’ll be on ball-by-ball, so keep an eye on Cricinfo and leave your comments below of the day’s events.
Cricinfo live scorecard and ball-by-ball details.
8 Comments »Another selection headache in the works
By Emma 4 years ago, at the start of September, 2 Comments »
It has been a rather quiet day for cricket. Leicestershire beat Somerset in Division Two of the Championship, both teams playing purely for pride. Hampshire are up against Gloucestershire in a more important if reduced in length Pro40 match. Meanwhile, Warwickshire’s second eleven have grabbed the county their only piece of silverware this season in the creatively named Second Eleven Trophy. Bears fans may take a little joy, but the annual Twenty20 mascot derby holds about as much importance.
Eyes, of course, turn to tomorrow’s day-night international. After Cardiff’s match was lost to a sodden pitch that wouldn’t dry in the dark, many seem to question the format’s use for internationals in this country. However, my question for the moment is this – who should play for England tomorrow? With Gough injured, there’s automatically a new spot, but would you change more? A new opening partnership, maybe, since those are so popular. Or a second spinner perhaps. Or should we put some of those headlines into use, slot in Onions for Gough and persevere?
2 Comments »England look to Onions for spice
By Will 4 years ago, at the start of September, 20 Comments »
Yes! The moment has come for every cricket journalist in the land, if not the world. Graham Onions has been called up to replace Darren Gough who has a shin injury. Here we go…
Onions spices up England
Onions cooks up a feast
Onions peels through Pakistan top-order
Onions produces mouth-watering display
” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” eye-watering display
Your suggestions please. The best will win an onion (obviously).
20 Comments »Onions
By Will 4 years ago, mid-April, 12 Comments »
Graham Onions plays for Durham. Graham Onions!
UPDATE, September 2006 – Onions called up to the England one-day squad. Click here.
12 Comments »