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It’s all in the mind
By Will 1 month ago, 2 Comments »
If there was any doubt about how dominant the mind-to-talent ratio is, you only need look at Graeme Smith. He is a diligent, grafting, muscular batsman but his real talent lies upstairs. After one of the very best fourth-innings centuries at Edgbaston, a vast 154, you’d think he’d be seeing the ball alright today. But no. God no. He resembled a rabbit, and a desperately out of form one at that. Somehow, he scraped 46 tortuous runs before his pain was eventually ended by Steve Harmison.
He has nothing to fight for. Neither do South Africa. The series is in the bag and their eyes are on their WAGs and the golf.
It really is all in the mind you know.
2 Comments »England dominate; South Africa fold; Prince reigns
By Will 2 months ago, 1 Comment »
It’s late and I’m beery. Briefly, England were disconcertingly excellent today. And even more briefly:
- James Anderson’s catch at mid-on to dismiss AB de Villiers was a bit special, proving (were any proof needed) that fast bowlers these days are as vital assets in the field as any other member of the side. They have to be.
- Hashim Amla’s beard continues to amaze and enthrall. Fortunate not to be bowled when his helmet fell off, evading a bouncer.
- Neil McKenzie has buckets of class and similar quantities of oddities. His obsessive compulsive habits were fascinating to watch, and metronomically repetitive. A scrape of the crease with his bat is followed by a scrub with his foot (right). He glances behind to fine leg, then to square leg, and then composes himself in his stance. Right before the bowler reaches his delivery stride, he mouths “watch the ball”. And when he does finally connect, it’s often pleasingly elegant. A nice sideshow to the series, watching McKenzie.
- Stuart Broad is enjoying his best Test match by a distance. Runs in the first innings, and today bowled his heart out, rarely straying from an immaculate line. Knows when to dig it in short or fire in a yorker. He will be a world force in 12 months.
- Monty Panesar is so hard to play in England. Favourite moment of the day came when he did Morkel like a kipper, eventually bowling him through the gate (with the final ball of the over, I think). Looks like he’s beginning to really know his game now.
- Billy Bowden’s mum died a couple of weeks ago, poor sod.
- Ashwell Prince showed the benefits of patience. Good, old-fashioned Test innings by a very underrated player rediscovering his touch. His celebration bordered on angry; a kiss of the badge was followed by him pointing at it to the dressing room, evidence that for all South Africa’s aggressive wordplay, they continue to be haunted by political turbulance.
- Andrew Strauss’s fine catch at first slip to dismiss Jacques Kallis (off the top of my head) confirmed how important slippers are to England. Alastair Cook has done well, but we could do with another safe pair of hands. Flintoff would do.
- The moment of the day? Kevin Pietersen taking the new ball to bowl at Graeme Smith owing to the poor light. The pair of them murmuring to eachother, staring one another down, was a fitting end to a near-perfect day’s Test cricket by England.
Pietersen’s first hundred against South Africa
By Will 2 months ago, 5 Comments »
I need sleep. But briefly:
- Remarkably controlled innings from Pietersen, both in the circumstances of the match and the opposition. One of the best I’ve seen from him.
- South Africa were mostly disappointing and at times very disappointing. Morne Morkel looks the real deal, but the whole attack’s inexperience should worry South African supporters. England dominated.
- The ovation to greet Pietersen’s hundred was pretty special. When did Lord’s, or an English crowd, last stand for so long?
- South Africa look overweight. This is unfounded, but the likes of Smith, Kallis, Boucher are carrying a few extra pounds. Granted, they all pump iron these days, but with the exception of AB de Villiers this team is lacking the gazelles which once made them so attractive to watch in the field.
- Makhaya Ntini has boundless energy, but even he might tire by the end of this series. He’s got a lot of bowling to do.
- I’d have gone for Nel instead of Cricinfo’s Paul Harris. He did not impress.
- 75% of Dale Steyn’s wickets are to right-handers.
- Why does Michael Vaughan always look so astonished when he’s bowled by a straight (albeit swinging) delivery?
- Alastair Cook is a younger, slightly more elegant Graeme Smith.
- Ian Bell bats like god on days like today. Needs a monstrous hundred tomorrow still, though.
An enthralling start to the series. Highlight of the day? Smith chewing on his lower lip while semi-applauding Pietersen’s hundred. Oh the agony of it…
5 Comments »The Boks have arrived
By Will 2 months ago, 13 Comments »
I always relish series involving South Africa, even though I have an entirely unreasonable dislike of their team. It is always painful losing to Australia, but it’s no less galling to be beaten by South Africa.
And look what’s happened! Rumours abound that Graeme Smith, the most unmellowable of characters, might have mellowed. How boring. He’s now friends with Shane Warne when once he wouldn’t have leant him a sheet of bog roll, though I’m happy to report the rift between him and Kevin Pietersen still appears to be impressively wide. It will be fun watching them both toss if KP again captains in place of Collingwood for the Twenty20 and first ODI.
They’ve begun ominously, South Africa, with Hashim Amla and Jacques Kallis (what a dynamic duo that pair are) both filling their leather boots with monstrous hundreds. Somerset managed a feeble 249 in response to their 515 for 3 declared.
After watching New Zealand for what has felt like a decade, it’s actually bloody exciting to think we have a brand new series coming up against a side I am itching watch. To steal a mate’s phrase, however, England could get “thoroughly shat upon”. Then again, the Boks are nothing but bottlers, so it seems only fair to stir the pot at this early stage and get the bok-bottling-ball rolling once more.
Have a read of previous series, right the way back to 1888
13 Comments »All is right with the world again
By Will 7 months ago, 1 Comment »
From Cricinfo’s Quote Unquote:
“It’s kind of hard to go on one date, have a nice dinner and then say: ‘That was nice - what are you doing in six weeks’ time? I’m going to Chittagong.’”
Graeme Smith in an interview with the Cape Times on why he is still single
Excellent news. I simply will not allow a South African captain to go out with Slinky Minki.
1 Comment »Light sabre batting
By Will 8 months ago, 2 Comments »
Enough of monkeys and racism and all that nonsense. Let’s talk light sabres.
Me and a colleague were remonstrating our dislike of Graeme Smith’s batsmanship today. At best, he is agricultural; at worst, his strokeplay is downright ugly. This isn’t to discredit him - he’s unstoppable on his day, as he was today against West Indies - but he’s a getter of runs, not a glider.
Anyway, wafflings put to one side, it got me thinking about those photos you see of him carving past point…and a static photo isolates the ugliness and turns his bat (and others like him) into a light sabre. Look, here’s Shaun Marsh:
WHOOSH:
And here’s Wasim Jaffer. WHOOMF:
Any others you’ve spotted?
2 Comments »Slinky Minki the fans’ favourite WAG
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of November, 18 Comments »
Sorry to lower the tone to such levels, but apparently Graeme Smith’s bit-on-the-side, Minki van der Westhuizen - Slinky Minki to some - has topped a poll of fans’ favourite WAGs. She has won the inaugural International Cricket Cutie Trophy organised by our good friends at Stick Cricket.
“Minki is a cricket fan’s dream woman. She’s sleek, sexy and with a successful career to boot,” Chris Berry, Stick Cricket’s director said. “Cricketers attract a finer class of WAG. While football is a game for chaps copping off with Chavs, cricket is a game for gentlemen going out with goddesses.”
Definitely a contender for quote-of-the-week. If you don’t know who Minki is, here she is:
Prince of South Africa
By Will 2 years ago, mid-July, No Comments; be the first!
Patrick reminds me of the news Ashwell Prince has been appointed the South Africa captain for their tour of Sri Lanka. Graeme Smith, seemingly like most cricketers these days, has an ankle injury. But Prince’s elevation is noteworthy as he becomes the first non-white captain of his country.
No Comments »South Africa v Australia, 3rd Test, Johannesburg, 1st day
By Will 2 years ago, at the end of March, No Comments; be the first!
So, Graeme Smith is a definate non-starter for the final Test. It’s hard to see a way through Australia for South Africa. On the other hand, Australia’s foot might loosen from the pedal as it often does after a series-securing victory. Chat away.
Scorecard
UPDATE South Africa v Australia, 5th ODI, Johannesburg
By Will 2 years ago, mid-March, 36 Comments »
About an hour ago, me and my colleage were screaming at the TV while watching South Africa attempt to reach 435. The commentators - Tony Greig and a South African, Barry Richards I think - were getting far too excited and claiming the hosts were going for the win. What tosh.
I’m slowly reaching for my hat which I might have to start eating, as we’re witnessing something rather extraordinary.
Oh bugger, the curse of the blogger. Graeme Smith is out (90 off 55!) and Mike Hussey’s celebration after taking the catch in the deep perhaps said it all: Australia are relieved. I think they felt the game was slipping away from them…
What an incredible day’s cricket it’s been
Update
Gibbs reaches incredible hundred. Nathan Bracken DROPS HIM at mid-off! What the hell is going on? South Africa 247 for 2, needing 188 from 23 overs
14.34 GMT
Gibbs 150 from 100 balls. 164 needed from 21. Rate under 8 for the first time. Pictures I’m upping are here
14.48
Gibbs falls for 175 from 111. De Villiers also out. Kallis and Boucher now in. 136 from 18.1 overs.
15.48
30 from 18 needed, ANOTHER FOUR, Boucher’s doing it for South Africa. And Mick Lewis brings up his hundred too!
15.51
It’s gotta be SA now. 17 from 13
15.52
Four from Roger Telemarketing! (Telemachus) 13 from 12! Mick Lewis has the most expensive bowling stats, ever.
15.53
Telemachus caught, brilliantly, by Hussey, diving forward at mid-off! 12 from 10 with two wickets remaining. Bloody hell. Andrew Hall gets a standing ovation for walking onto the ground.
15.58
7 from 6
16.00
Lee struck on foot, saved four, ouch. 6 from 5
16.02
Hall smashes Lee through midwicket for FOUR! Brilliant shot.
16.04
Hall caught! OUT GONE! 2 from 3 needed, ONE WICKET LEFT
16.05
Ntini screams, gets a single, South Africa cannot lose. 1 from 2. Australia cannot, obviously, win it. This is bloody incredible
16.06
Boucher wins it with a slog over mid-on to record the best one-day victory ever. In the greatest one-day match, probably. Speechless.
36 Comments »South Africa head home
By Scott 2 years ago, at the start of February, 6 Comments »
South Africa head home in a day or two, after being beaten by Sri Lanka today, which concludes South Africa’s fourth tour of Australia since they were re-admitted to the international cricket community.
It has to be said that Graeme Smith’s team was the least successful of the four. Like many nations, South Africa has never won a Test Series in Australia, and they never looked likely to do that. It took a remarkable rearguard action in the First Test to prevent it turning into a clean sweep. And this South African party was the first to fail to qualify for the triangular series final.
Smith can point to the fact that injuries decimated his squad, although that excuse really only carries weight for the poor ODI showing. South Africa were close to full strength for the Tests.
Smith himself had a wretched time with the bat; he did not score a single half century against the Australians in the entire tour. For such a patently talented batsman, this must have been very disheartening.
He did finally score 67 in a lost cause today, but it was a distraught man who watched his side crumble in his wake. He is under fire from home and is not the first, nor will he be the last, talented batsman to find Australia is as tough a tour as any going around.
6 Comments »Who ate all the South African pies?
By Scott 2 years ago, at the start of February, 1 Comment »
Kep Wessells calls Graeme Smith a porker! In response South African coach Mickey Arthur suggests that Wessells doesn’t have the interests of South African cricket in mind.
Whee! Handbags at 20 paces!
Of course, if Australia follow Darren Lehmann’s advice, we Aussies might not be able to laff at the silly Saffie fatties for too much longer. But I’ll enjoy it while I still can!
1 Comment »Boks on the offensive
By Will 3 years ago, mid-December, 3 Comments »
Funny what a week away from cricket does. I’m back (hello) from my hiatus (not the hernia - what is a hiatus hernia…?), and was pleasantly surprised to see South Africa perform so strongly against Australia today. This could be a real cracker of a series in which to end the year, although I still fear for South Africa’s brittleness. Always enjoyable to hear G.Smith’s press conferences; no doubt there’ll be some gems in the next few weeks!
I’ll get back to blogging like the cricket-starved fool I am soon as…splendid.
3 Comments »Test Cricket today. Hurray!
By Scott 3 years ago, mid-December, 6 Comments »
Tests are the best!
Australia take on South Africa in the First Test at Perth. South African captain Graeme Smith is ‘braced for bullies‘ and given that his side lost to a weak West Australian state side by an innings, the Australian urge to kick sand in South African faces is strong.
A personal confession, here. I loathe South African cricket, which has done nothing but bombastic boasting, boring and unadventurous captains and hilarious World Cup chokes since they were re-admitted in 1992. The last two times Australia toured the place, we heard a great deal in the South African press about how they were going to stuff us, and Australia responded by crushing them by an innings in the First Test. I suppose I owe it to my readers that I can’t be entirely objective about South Africans, and should bear that in mind when they read my stuff.
South Africans must be pretty anxious about the crowd because Andre Nel says that they aren’t worried about being abused by the crowds. If you weren’t worried about it, why would you talk about it? It is not like South African crowds are prim and proper-Johannesburg is not known as ‘the Bullring’ for nothing.
Australia have included Nathan Bracken in the lineup, instead of Stuart MacGill, and South Africa are likely to be missing Jacques Kallis. He is one of the few South Africans with a proven record against Australia so they will miss him.
Australia have never lost a series to South Africa since readmission, and have not lost a series at home since 1992-93. I do not think South Africa have the bowling attack to change those facts. Also, Smith does not strike me as the sort of cool figure that can lead his side to an upset victory. But it’s Test cricket so hurray!
6 Comments »Captain Graeme Smith
By Will 3 years ago, mid-October, 3 Comments »
Any doubts of Smith’s leadership qualities, or confusion as to the World XI’s mission tonight have been resolved by the ever-insightful Smith:
To beat Australia. That’s what we’ve come here for.
Thanks for that. Wondered what that group of eleven non-Australian players were doing in Sydney.
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