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Symonds’ foot/pint in mouth
By Will last year, at the end of January, 7 Comments »
I’m sure there are some people who share a degree of sympathy with Andrew Symonds’ travails over the past year. I am not one of them. He has an obvious drinking problem, and that’s a bugger for sure, but if he can’t control what goes into his mouth, you’d think he’d be better at limiting the crap that comes out.
Not so. Last week he called Brendon McCullum a “lump of s***”. If you can work out what he’s trying to say below, you’ll win the praise of every Corridor reader. Possibly even Symonds himself.
7 Comments »“They’re trying to use him [McCullum] as the out because he’s a Kiwi,” Symonds said. “Yep, we love to hate them, but he’s the lump of s…, sorry, lump of cow dirt, that people are thinking of. Now to get away from that, the actual topic is about playing cricket and getting into a final.
“To get yourself to that position and if you haven’t brought anybody in, personally I wouldn’t be changing a winning team. It doesn’t matter about McCullum, mate, he could have been Irish, he still would have got it.” Are you keeping up?
“It’s not his fault, he’s doing his job and trying to earn a wage. But what happened here is an injustice. I said Daniel Smith, his opposite number, was going to miss out. But they said this morning that Daniel Smith is going to play, but at the end of day somebody is still going to miss out.
Three cheers to Ryder
By Will last year, mid-January, 2 Comments »
Enjoyable piece at the New Zealand Herald on Jesse Ryder, the affable badboy of New Zealand cricket who’s finally admitted to enjoying his drink more than is healthy. He took no part in last night’s one-dayer, other than to carry the drinks. As befitting New Zealanders’ dry sense of humour, they picked up on the irony:
The loudest cheer of the first hour of play was reserved for when Ryder, at the end of the seventh over of yesterday’s one-day international against the West Indies at Eden Park, took drinks out to his team-mates.
Even he must have been surprised by the warmth of the crowd, given he is trying the patience of his team-mates and paymasters.
Everyone loves a rebel
2 Comments »The Manifesto Club: why I love Britain
By Will 2 years ago, at the end of August, No Comments; be the first!
In some countries, protests are an excuse for fundamentalism, an exhaust pipe of pent up anger. Some of them exist purely to fuel anarchists’ brainless belief that nations can prosper without governments. It’s a lovely idea, but about as desperately hopeful as me ever hitting a century at Lord’s.
Britain has its own nutters, like anywhere else, but we also do a very fine line in polite protesting. Admittedly these are all too rare, but they’re there. We are a nation of disgruntled, bitter bastards yet quite content to formalise our anger, funnelling it into a solid statement of intent via grown-up means. The best example comes from The Manifesto Club, a group of drunken farts who are mightily pissed off about the ban on booze in public.
So far, so normal. But how are they gaining publicity for their campaign? That’s right: by staging a picnic. Admittedly, picnics are an example of outdoor drinking and so forth, but the whole idea couldn’t be more equisitely British. “Right, you swines. I’ll show you. Come on, chaps – let’s stick it up them and hold a picnic in Hyde Park.”
Well done them.
No Comments »Beer’s up
By Will 2 years ago, mid-March, 3 Comments »
A sojourn from the cricket with the news that Alistair Darling, the bushy-eyebrowed bastard who controls our taxes, has added 4p to a pint of beer, 14p to a bottle of wine and generally raised his “six taxes” at an extraordinary rate. This simply will not do, and Fraser Nelson provides further info on the travesty at the always-excellent Coffee House:
3 Comments »The biggest story in today’s Budget – ie, what will hit the public immediately – is the booze hikes. From 6pm tonight, they take effect. An extra 4p on a pint of beer, 3p on a glass of wine (touchingly, the Red Book says 175ml is typical – has anyone from the Treasury ordered a glass recently?), and 55p on a 70cl bottle of spirits. These increases will rise at 2% in future years on top on inflation (itself expected to be 2%). So, congratulations Gordon: a line of cocaine (on Dec07 street prices) is now cheaper than half a pint cider. What a wonderful country we live in.
Do any CoffeeHousers know of research that suggests such prices rises actually deter drunkenness? I don’t. Drink has become steadily more expensive, and the mayhem on the streets has hardly calmed. I suspect the Friday night chaos the BBC loves to show us has more to do with the scandalous fact that the number prosecuted for being drunk-and-disorderly has collapsed from 30,700 prosecutions to 16,400 each year between 2000 and 2006 as police chased other targets – and started imposing these daft £40 fines instead of taking people to the cells.
Notes from the pavilion
By Will 3 years ago, at the end of October, 1 Comment »
- Bikini girl Lara Bingle bowls Michael Clarke over | The Courier-Mail – Nauseous…
- The effect of Botham on Flintoff – …and the influence of Vaughan on Freddie. Simon Hughes’ column earlier this year
- ‘Tresy cried when he was given out, we had to send him back home’ – Talk about a betrayal of doctor-patient confidentiality. Fletcher’s burning every possible bridge it seems…
Duncan’s book
By Will 3 years ago, at the end of October, 2 Comments »
So then. No going quietly into the shadows for Duncan Fletcher, whose autobiography is exposing Andrew Flintoff’s drink problems (among other things). But where do the public stand on the whole issue? I’d be interested to hear everyone’s thoughts.
Fletcher says he’s been let down by Flintoff, that Fred was too wrecked to even throw a ball (let alone catch it). This is woeful behaviour for a sportsman, especially one described by Brett Lee as a supreme athelete. But why didn’t Fletcher – the most powerful man in English cricket – nip it in the bud at the first offence?
And why was Flintoff given the captaincy ahead of Andrew Strauss? At the time, we all bought into the fanciful notion that Flintoff alone could help us retain the Ashes; a leader of men rather than a tactician. He’ll drag the players with him through sheer brute force, we thought. So, it seems, did Duncan. Or was Fletcher so concerned with Flintoff’s levels of drinking that he thought the captaincy might rein him in? Either way, he – and David Graveney – must be accountable. It was a gross error and has cost England, Flintoff (and Strauss, let’s be honest) severely.
Who was he out drinking with? Yep, Ian Botham (who naturally doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with sinking 12 bottles of Chardonnay. In an evening). Me and my miniature mate Dan from the magazine were discussing this today, and he reminded me of a piece Simon Hughes wrote in relation to Flintoff’s World Cup boozing:
Before the last day of an England Test in 2004, I was on the pitch chatting with Andrew Flintoff when Ian Botham strode over. “There he is, the world expert on batting,” Botham chortled, referring to me, “the bloke who used to fall asleep fielding at long leg. True, you know! [Unfortunately it is]. Now then Freddie, you and Harmy are coming out with me tomorrow night!’ Flintoff nodded in approval.
When the two had gone their respective ways, Michael Vaughan wandered over. I congratulated him on his second century of the match. “Thanks,” he said. “Nice track, innit. What was Botham saying?”
“Oh, he was promising Harmy and Freddie he’d take them out tomorrow night,” I replied.
“Oh no he’s not,” Vaughan said. “They’re not going out with Beefy! There’s another Test match in three days’ time.”
Vaughan’s authority is his greatest asset. What will Duncan’s book bring tomorrow?
2 Comments »Notes from the pavilion for October 27th
By Will 3 years ago, at the end of October, 2 Comments »
- Andrew Flintoff ‘drink disgrace’ on tour – Fletcher’s book is going to be fascinating reading for sure…
- Murali is last hope for Wallaby wannabe – A terrific piece – read it
- Rudolph considers England future – Another South African threatens to split…
- Warne says the county game is a source of England strength -
Sunblock? Rumblock
By Will 3 years ago, at the end of March, 1 Comment »
Last week I wrote about the Trinidadians’ clever use of a zip-lock bag to sneak in contraband (contrabanned, more like), which the authorities in the Caribbean prohibit. That was clever, but not nearly as ingenious as the use of a bottle of sunblock!
I love the expression on that bloke’s face, behind, raising his glass of rum. Well done, Trinis! (thanks Ryan)
1 Comment »A cheap way to get drunk
By Will 4 years ago, at the end of June, 1 Comment »
Drink with a hangover. Works every time, and cheap too!
1 Comment »Homeless Andy and his can of Fosters
By Will 5 years ago, at the end of November, 1 Comment »
Rather tenuous link to cricket this, but bear with me (and the original writer). It raised a smile:
“No we don’t open until 11:30 I’m afraid,” the doorman said. “As far as I know there are no plans to open any earlier – just as well, really, I can only drink so much!”, he joked.
If upmarket was the wrong direction, maybe downmarket was the answer. Just a short walk from the Ritz I finally found a place to catch the game with a beer.
Andy, a homeless man in his 40s, was enjoying the match on the widescreen TV in the window of the Trocadero, Shaftesbury Avenue.
His can of Fosters, he explained kindly, came from the local Spar store on Haymarket – open from 8am every morning.
So, stood in the drizzle, one can for me and one for Andy as a thank you for the tip, we caught the highlights of the day on Sky.
“I think we got best seat in house”, Andy said.
I’ll drink to that.
I’ve watched cricket, and attempted to, in some funny ways – (lugging ancient LW radio up hills, waving mobile phones desperately in the air to find reception) – but never this. Yet!
1 Comment »‘Bradman: Leave strong drink alone’
By Will 5 years ago, at the start of November, 7 Comments »
Briefly searched for ‘cricket’ at Google Print, and came across this fascinating photo (copyrighted like a bastard to everybody in the world, probably):
“Bradman: leave strong drink alone. Total abstinence is a big factor in success” reads the sign. Anyone seen this before?
7 Comments »