Quotehanger

  • "We didn't know much about Pattinson. We didn't have any footage on him. Whatever team the English put out we were just going to try and prepare with whatever information we could get. Which wasn't a lot."
    Hashim Amla admits Darren Pattinson's call-up caught South Africa by surprise. Like everyone else

    Jul 19, 2008

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    Articles tagged as: darren-gough

    Mark Butcher on ‘Just the Two of Us’

    By Will last year, at the start of January, 1 Comment »

    First there was Darren Gough. Then Mark Ramprakash. And now, Mark Butcher is the third recent England cricketer to swap his whites for the mic. It’s passed me by until now but, on a drizzly Sunday evening, what else can you do but wade through the TV channels and find some nonsense to watch? The nonsense is called Just the Two of Us and is one of these reality TV things. I hate them with furious passion.

    Whereas Gough and Ramprakash had no dancing ability whatsoever, yet still somehow managed to win, Butcher is a guitarist and musician of repute. So he’ll probably win it like his two England colleagues did.

    All is not lost, England. Andrew Flintoff is a keen Elvis fan so look out for him on this show next year, with Steve Harmison on maracas and Chris Read and Geraint Jones fighting for the drumsticks.

    “It’s not a blood sport; this is music,” Butcher said. “It’s not about hurting people it’s about making you feel good, and hopefully we did that tonight.”

    God help us all.

    Update Superb work from Will. Moments after posting that, Butcher was cast off into oblivion. Sorry!

    1 Comment »

    Lehmann England’s next coach?

    By Will 2 years ago, at the end of November, 5 Comments »

    Darren Gough is a bit of a rumour merchant, but he does know Darren Lehmann pretty well. And last night, Gough said Lehmann was a “strong rumour” to replace Duncan Fletcher as England coach. Thanks to Rod:

    The old boy stories continue with the news of an on-stage interview with Darren Gough last night, at the Adelaide pre-Test dinner. The former England bowler said that Darren Lehmann, the South Australian skipper, was a ’strong rumour’ as the next England coach after Duncan Fletcher. Whether it was a blast at the current coach is unknown, but Gough said: “He teaches enjoyment to the players… his knowledge is second-to-none, especially of the England players after playing in the country for so long.”

    Thoughts?

    5 Comments »

    Mark Ramprakash to appear on Strictly Come Dancing

    By Will 2 years ago, mid-September, 3 Comments »

    Oh dear God. As if 17,000 runs in a season isn’t enough to persuade David Graveney to select him (and it isn’t) it was confirmed today that Mark Ramprakash is to appear in the next series of Strictly Come Dancing. Didn’t he learn from Darren Gough?

    Maybe Bruce Forsyth is a mole for the England selectors; perhaps they have Ramprakash on standby but are unconvinced by his feet movement…

    Update: interview with Ramps at Cricinfo.

    3 Comments »

    Another selection headache in the works

    By Emma 2 years ago, at the start of September, 2 Comments »

    It has been a rather quiet day for cricket. Leicestershire beat Somerset in Division Two of the Championship, both teams playing purely for pride. Hampshire are up against Gloucestershire in a more important if reduced in length Pro40 match. Meanwhile, Warwickshire’s second eleven have grabbed the county their only piece of silverware this season in the creatively named Second Eleven Trophy. Bears fans may take a little joy, but the annual Twenty20 mascot derby holds about as much importance.

    Eyes, of course, turn to tomorrow’s day-night international. After Cardiff’s match was lost to a sodden pitch that wouldn’t dry in the dark, many seem to question the format’s use for internationals in this country. However, my question for the moment is this – who should play for England tomorrow? With Gough injured, there’s automatically a new spot, but would you change more? A new opening partnership, maybe, since those are so popular. Or a second spinner perhaps. Or should we put some of those headlines into use, slot in Onions for Gough and persevere?

    2 Comments »

    England look to Onions for spice

    By Will 2 years ago, at the start of September, 20 Comments »

    Yes! The moment has come for every cricket journalist in the land, if not the world. Graham Onions has been called up to replace Darren Gough who has a shin injury. Here we go…

    Onions spices up England
    Onions cooks up a feast
    Onions peels through Pakistan top-order
    Onions produces mouth-watering display
    ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” eye-watering display

    Your suggestions please. The best will win an onion (obviously).

    20 Comments »

    Eng v Pak, Twenty20 - who to pick?

    By Emma 2 years ago, at the end of August, 6 Comments »

    In the last week, with the ongoing ‘Ovalgate’ saga, the big media questions on the one-day series have not been the usual deliberations over selection. Now that it seems that there will definitely be a series, with both sides confident that Pakistan will be competing, the next couple of days may bring a resumption of normal service.

    There are certainly some potential headaches for David Graveney and company when it comes down to converting their 16-man squad to an 11-man side. It seems unlikely that Ed Joyce will interrupt the ongoing battle for an Ashes place. But with both Collingwood and Pietersen set to come into the team that lost to Sri Lanka at Headingley, it seems likely that one of the batsmen will have to make way rather than reduce the bowling attack. Jamie Dalrymple will retain his place as Fletcher’s favoured spinning all-rounder, and Chris Read must be looking forward to proving he is the best English ‘keeper in the shortest form of the game.

    It is well documented that England’s recent one-day problems lie on a foundation of wayward pace bowling. The inclusion of six pace options, with only Harmison and Mahmood retained, suggests that the selectors are trying to meet this head on. But who to pick? Broad and Gough are certainly popular choices in the media, with impressive Twenty20 pedigree. Who do you think should be on Monday’s team sheet?

    6 Comments »

    One career lifelined; another finished

    By Will 2 years ago, mid-August, No Comments; be the first!

    Darren Gough was handed an England lifeline today when he was named in a provisional squad of 30 for the October Abomination, otherwise known as the ICC Champions Trophy. No such luck for Kabir Ali, though. Once heralded as an “exciting” (I’m guessing) allrounder, he persuaded the selectors to drop him during the one-day series against Sri Lanka with a display of worrying inadequacy. That’s the end of his career, then (although it remains to be seen whether he’ll follow Gough’s path and prance around on TV to attract the selectors’ attention once more).

    I really couldn’t give a monkeys about this tournament. It’s a load of hogwash.

    No Comments »

    Gough and his gob

    By Will 2 years ago, mid-July, 13 Comments »

    I have to admit that when Sri Lanka were pissing all over England in the one-day series I did seriously long for someone of Darren Gough’s calibre as a one-day bowler. I even, momentarily, honoured the notion of recalling him. But then, he is so very old and so very up his own derriere - in his own cheeky, impish and mildly endearing manner - that I’ve binned the prospect of him ever returning, especially when he sounds off like this:

    “I never give up and I’m determined to get back in but the only reason I’m not selected was the fact I did Strictly Come Dancing,” he told BBC Five Live.

    “The reason I took the winter off was to spend some time with my children and it was the best winter I’ve had.”

    Who is he trying to kid? He spent the winter prancing around for some extra dosh. He ends it with:

    If I don’t get a recall for the Pakistan series, I’m not going to get the recall

    Well, duh.

    13 Comments »

    We are all thankful to Darren Gough

    By Will 2 years ago, mid-June, 3 Comments »

    Never again (not this week at least) will I make disparaging remarks about Darren Gough. Essex today were nine down, with Zaheer Khan looking for his tenth in the innings for Worcesterhisre. He blitzed 50 from 33 balls before falling to Matt Mason. Good old twinkle-toes. Khan’s astonishing figures last night of 9 for 28 in 69 balls look rather less special after Gough laid into him: 9 for 138!

    Not a bad effort, Zaheer.

    3 Comments »

    Gough to replace Cooley?

    By Will 3 years ago, mid-December, 1 Comment »

    Scott mentioned that Darren Gough won the BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing competition and, hot on the dancing heels of that comes the news of Steve Harmison calling for twinkle-toes to replace Troy Cooley. Bit soon, I’d say - but not a bad call for the future, I reckon. He’s not dumb, Darren.

    1 Comment »

    Darren Gough wins dancing contest

    By Scott 3 years ago, mid-December, 1 Comment »

    Darren Gough finally wins something.

    Cricket star Darren Gough danced his way to victory to become the first male winner of BBC1’s Strictly Come Dancing.

    The Yorkshire sportsman, who was a novice dancer 10 weeks ago, swept to glory on the dancefloor with partner Lilia Kopylova.

    Gough, who plays for Essex and England, saw off rivals, athlete Colin Jackson and DJ Zoe Ball, in the live final of the third series.

    Jackson, who entered the final as hot favourite, came a close second while Ball, who was bookies favourite to win for most of the series, finished in third place.

    A delighted Gough, 35, said: “I thought I would be saying this 10 weeks ago but it has been an amazing journey for a guy who has never danced.”

    It’s never too late to find your destiny in life, I guess.

    1 Comment »

    Dancing the key to Gough’s World Cup

    By Will 3 years ago, at the end of October, 5 Comments »

    For God’s sake, will you read this?

    England veteran Darren Gough believes his chances of playing in the World Cup have been enhanced by his time on BBC TV show Strictly Come Dancing.

    Gough, 35, was warned his England one-day career could be over after he opted out of the tour of Pakistan.

    “I’m more hopeful of making the World Cup now and the main reason is all the work I have to do for the programme.

    Oh. Dear.

    5 Comments »

    Flintoff wants to sing. Professionally

    By Will 3 years ago, mid-October, 16 Comments »

    Oh for God’s sake, what’s wrong with cricketers these days? First it’s Darren Gough kissing his England career goodbye, and now Andrew Flintoff wants to be a singer. There really is no peace for the wicked…

    But far more alarming for the nation’s cricket watchers is the revelation that Flintoff has told his new singing teacher that he would gladly give up cricket to sing professionally.

    Flintoff’s vocal coach is Jon Christos, a rising opera star who was approached by the cricketer after performing at a charity ball in Manchester three weeks ago.

    And to further baffle the mind comes this: 500 comments have now been posted about Kevin Pietersen. All this attention cricket is receiving is just not cricket…

    UPDATE: And from Royaltech comes this:

    A pair of diamond cricket ball studs valued at £25,000 and the diamond encrusted cricket bat that hangs around his [Pietersen's] neck was worth a measly £50,000.

    Are today’s cricketers dabbling in the murky world of Football-esque extravagance?

    16 Comments »

    Gough signs for….Strictly come Dancing?

    By Will 3 years ago, at the end of September, 19 Comments »

    Oh my God. Tufnell’s “I’m a former cricketer, get me some publicity” was bad enough. But this? This is just woeful. Darren Gough in the BBC Strictly Come Dancing competition.

    19 Comments »

    Replacing the Welsh swinger

    By Will 3 years ago, at the start of September, 9 Comments »

    My article on Cricinfo about Simon Jones’s replacement is up:

    Replacing the Welsh swinger

    The things the modern cricketer has to endure. Twenty years ago, prominent England players would have winced at the thought of sitting in an Oxygen chamber, no doubt scoffing at its supposed benefits. Simon Jones has little choice: after he injured his ankle in the last Test, England have been doing everything they can to patch him up for the final fling. He has been a key, reverse-swinging cog in England’s success this summer, and if he fails a fitness test, his replacement could hold the key to wrestling the urn from Australia’s 18-year-long grasp. Or not…

    Who could replace him? His long-term understudy, James Anderson, is finally playing cricket regularly. For Lancashire this season, he has taken 48 wickets but averages over 30: this is not what England, or Anderson, wants. He’d played just three games for Lancashire in 2002, before England called him into the one-day squad against Australia the following winter, and his success was instant. But his confidence was fragile, and attempts by England’s coaches to modify his bowling action sapped it further still. He remains promising and, importantly, is still only 23, but England can’t afford to risk his selection in what is the biggest match of England’s recent history.

    Chris Tremlett, 24 tomorrow, has usurped Anderson as the young, English fast-bowling hope but is yet to play a Test. He played three one-day matches earlier in the season, and performed reasonably well, picking up 4 for 32 on debut against Bangladesh, and the useful wicket of Adam Gilchrist in the following match against Australia. Importantly, he has remained in the England “bubble”, Duncan Fletcher’s protective cushion, throughout this series which signifies he is very well regarded. Indeed, his extreme height has excited many observers: he is 6′ 7″ and generates bounce from a natural short-of-a-length, something Michael Vaughan can testify to as Tremlett smashed a ball into his elbow at Edgbaston. For Hampshire this season, he has taken 45 wickets at 26 - a good performance, if not a spectacular one - but he doesn’t move the ball a la Jones. Worryingly, in Hampshire’s latest match against Warwickshire, his two wickets cost 98 runs and included six-no balls.

    Paul Collingwood is desperate to play Test cricket again, to add to his two matches played against Sri Lanka in 2003. While he is primarily a batsman, his bowling has improved steadily this season with 19 wickets for Durham. He remains very much a wobbling medium-pacer, though and it is a front-line bowler England needs to win at The Oval. His inclusion would strengthen the home side’s batting considerably, and this could yet win the selectors over. England, after all, only need to draw the fifth Test to regain the Ashes. But the remaining England bowlers’ workloads would be become even heavier. He is in excellent batting form, though, and his catching and fielding abilities are almost without peer. His bowling won’t win England the Test, but his batting and fielding could.

    England’s former pace bowlers Andrew Caddick and Darren Gough are both a year either side of 35, but each would give their eye-teeth to be a part of a successful England side, and especially one which has, at long last, dominated an Ashes series. Caddick, 36, last played for England in Sydney in 2002-03, a Test England won, but injuries have since forced him out of the side. Despite his age, he is still the leading English-qualified wicket-taker this season with 54 at 27.79. Meanwhile it has been rumoured, rather cheekily, that Gough was asked to attend a training session by England. Mind you, Gough is the closest like-for-like replacement for Jones: he was England’s best exponent of reverse-swing throughout the 1990s, but with age comes medium-pace. England’s consistency in selection has arguably been a key factor in their successes spanning two years, and it remains unlikely Gough or Caddick will buck that trend.

    Whoever is chosen - and other names in the mix include Kabir Ali and Jon Lewis - it is unlikely they will match the skill Simon Jones has shown this summer. His rare and surprising ability to move the new and the old ball is almost irreplaceable. Britain will be praying the German doctors can work their oxygen-chamber magic on him; and for Jones himself, it would be devastating to miss the finale of a series he has played such an integral part in swinging England’s way.

    9 Comments »

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