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Paddy Whack – Kerry O’Keefe’s frog joke
By Will last year, mid-April, 1 Comment »
It’s an oldie, sure, but it’s a damn fine goodie. Listen to Kerry O’Keefe’s old frog joke
http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200603/r74772_210339.mp3
1 Comment »Say it again, Bob
By Will last year, mid-February, 1 Comment »
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As England slumped yesterday, Sky’s commentary team sprung into fervent action. Its coverage of events in Jamaica was excellent, led by Ian Ward (Wardy) in the studio, whose questions to Nick Knight (Knighty), Bob Willis (Bob) and Nasser Hussain (Nass) were akin to floaty half-volleys, the like of which England’s batsmen could only dream of as Jerome Taylor continued to york them for fun. Hussain and co responded magnificently.
But first, it was Willis who provided the entertainment when he launched another dreamy attack on Daryl Harper, the third umpire who upheld another controversial decision which was referred by the players. “He’s got to be given his pension book and [taken] out of there,” Willis spat, his lip curled in disgust. “He is hopeless.” Hussain and Mikey Holding were no less disparaging, both lauding the use of technology while questioning the credentials of the person sitting behind the monitor.
By now, Ward was revelling in his role as the anchorman with licence to laugh. Barely able to suppress his giggling at Willis’s growing animosity towards everyone, with perfect timing England began to collapse, providing him with further ammunition to wind up his easily-angered colleagues. Not even the usually polite and cheery Knight could hide his confusion and anger at the dominoes tumbling in Kingston. “These are Test cricketers!” he pleaded to the camera with justifiably perplexed anguish. His excellent analysis of Alastair Cook’s near-total lack of feet movement provided substance to his grumbles, but it wasn’t long before Ian Botham (Sir Ian, or Sreean) turned the tables on him.
Knight knows Ian Bell better, perhaps, than Ian Bell knows himself. And after a brief impression of Tony Blair – palms open, and a call for unity: “hey, guys. Come on. Let’s be sensible” – Knight admitted that Bell’s issues, unlike Cook, are upstairs in the head. Bell’s detractors might not have learned much by that facile analysis, but in one fell swoop, England’s No.3 had lost the backing of his No.1 fan.
Hussain, though, stood out. Rarely is Botham demoted to being a sideshow yet, as Kingston began to reverberate, Hussain didn’t let him get a word in. A torrent of analysis, anger, mild abuse and pent-up frustration frothed from Hussain’s mouth, as a gleeful Ward fed him with questions straight out of the Devil’s Advocate handbook.
Sky – who are not a free-to-air channel – aren’t often applauded, but their coverage of a wonderfully dramatic day in Jamaica was both entertaining and slick.
1 Comment »A celebration of Mark Nicholas
By Will last year, mid-January, 13 Comments »
If – oh, if – there was more than one Mark Nicholas in the world, their collective noun might well be a celebration of Mark Nicholas. Or Mark Nicholi as the plural. The Corridor has long been a fan of Mark – known, to a man, more fondly as Nicho – for years and years. His staggering use of vocabulary at even the most inane moment in a match has brought tears of incredulity and joy to our ears.
He is very much the marmite commentator: you either love or loath him. But to those who dislike the drama he brings, I say wowzers and jee whizz and hello! and he is a strong boy – phrases that no Richie Benaud (pah), Ian Chappell (scoff) or Tony Greig (err, actually…) could ever dream of uttering.
One Nicho highlight came shortly before Matthew Hayden retired, when he pulled A.Bowler for runs through midwicket. I’m paraphrasing here, just so you can get an idea of how beautiful the commentary was, but it was along the following lines: “Math-ew-Hay-Den……one of the greatest pull-shots in cricket history. Given the man; given the match; given the situation…” Hayden, in the middle of a career-ending trough, fell soon after.
History – or more accurately, my memory – doesn’t record the exact wordage, but it has prompted me to invite the loyal Corridor readers to offer your own favourite Nicho moments. (note, this is not an epitaph. Ed.)
There was one today which really stood out. Ricky Ponting had boshed four through midwicket. “Ricky PONting! You are so strong!.” Commentary bronze from Nicho. One of his landmark phrases – indeed, there were thousands – came during the 2005 Ashes. Andrew Flintoff was going bonkers at Edgbaston, with the bat, lifting everyone for sixes. “Hello … hello hello? Mmmassive. Massive!”
Another of my favourites came either during the Ashes, or the preceding couple of years, when he almost lost his sheen of professionalism – again watching Flintoff. “This is…this is amazing. This is brilliant. This is sporting drama of the highest calibre; it’s theatre…theatre that everyone can connect with.” I hasten to add that for all his excitement and occasional OTTisms, he is mostly spot on. And as a presenter, he’s peerless.
So, fellow Nicho lovers – nominate your favourite Nicho Moments and you could win the respect of literally a dozen people (13, including Mark).
13 Comments »On yer bike!
By Will 2 years ago, mid-November, 2 Comments »
God, I think I love Bill Lawry. Just listen to this collection of blinkered, one-eyed, completely OTT commentary. He is an inspiration to someone, somewhere, and let’s hope he gives birth to a new generation of ridiculously enthusiastic commentators. Take it away, Bill, you ruddy bluddy legend.
The video is here if you can’t see it above.
2 Comments »The new daddy of the commentary box
By Jonathan Liew 2 years ago, mid-August, 2 Comments »
1) I never saw Ian Botham play.
2) My impression of him has thus been shaped entirely by his commentary career.
3) As such, I think Ian Botham’s a bit of a moron.
Shaun Pollock might not have scored as many Test runs as Botham, but as this exchange showed, there’s no substitute for research:
Botham: Two Morkels in the one-day squad. Are they related?
Pollock: Yes, they’re brothers.
In just a few weeks, Pollock has given Botham and the rest of the Sky statues an object lesson in commentary. He’s a natural, both on TV and radio. He’s got interesting things to say; things you might not already know, things you might not be able to work out simply from looking at the screen. He’s leans on his experience without allowing it to dictate his analysis. Best of all, he knows when to be quiet. If he can lose his unfortunate predilection for inadvertently namechecking sponsors, he could be a star in the making.
2 Comments »We have no right to complain
By Will 2 years ago, mid-June, 4 Comments »
I’ve just returned from the beach, where I have mostly been lounging for the past few days, and thought I’d watch Queen’s. Summer and tennis go hand-in-hand, never more so than when you’re not working, but I’ve only managed to last eight minutes. The match hasn’t even begun, even – but if I have to listen to these mindless imbeciles commentate, I might just put my foot through the TV.
We have absolutely no right to complain about our cricket commentators. I’m sure you all have your favourites, and you certainly will have the odd one or two who make your ears bleed, but on the whole we’re extremely lucky. They’re knowledgeable, interesting, sometimes witty and decent. None of that can be said of tennis commentators, all of whom seem to have fake mid-Atlantic accents which make Lloyd Grossman’s dulcet tones palatable.
“He’s not only a great player – he’s a great guy.” Oh do climb out of their arses, for the love of god.
4 Comments »A Natwest Home Insurance yorker from Brett Lee
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of June, 5 Comments »
The future of the cliché lies with cricket’s sponsors, Rahul Bhattacharya says in his analysis of the Indian Premier League:
The best games had a kind of compressed intensity where each delivery held the weight of an entire match… A six in the IPL, every 622 of them, was no longer a six, it was a ‘DLF Maximum.’ A sharp catch came branded as a ‘Citi Moment Of Success’. Commentators tripped over each other to make these plugs. A future where a batsman executes a Toyota Front-Foot Drive against an Intel Faster One may not be the stuff of satire.
What other brand names could infiltrate into cricket jargon? “Super Jeep Cherokee arm-ball from Panesar, there.” “And he’s bowled him! Stumps flying! No, it’s a Samsung Pure Genius no-ball.”
5 Comments »Partisanship in commentary
By Will 3 years ago, mid-October, 3 Comments »
Italians are wonderfully, unashamedly biased when commentating…but not often, to my knowledge, are they on the side of England. Ben Hammersley has an interesting tale of watching yesterday’s Rugby World Cup Final in Italy.
3 Comments »I watched it on Sky Sport Italia, here in Italy, with the Italian commentary on and, bloody hell, were they biased. It was quite possibly the most partisan commentary I’ve heard on TV: the two commentators so blatantly, outrageously, violently pro-England that even I, a Natural Born Englishman of the first order, was getting a bit Steady-On-Chaps about it. Commentators just aren’t supposed to use the “We” form of any verb, and at times you got the feeling they were a hair away from screaming “take him down! take him doooooowwwwn!” like it was the arrival of the Oliphants in the Return of the King.
As far as I know there’s no particular dislike of South Africa here, so I’m guessing it was a hemisphere thing, with the Italian’s defaulting to supporting the North. Still, as the clock ticked down and it became obvious that England weren’t go to pull one out of the bag, it was greatly comforting to share the disappointment with the two very gutted sounding commentators. That, and seeing Prince William swear very loudly when the try was disallowed, almost made up for the whole thing.
Vaughan all mouth and no trousers
By Will 3 years ago, mid-June, 2 Comments »
What a winner. Michael Vaughan loses his trousers, and could there anyone better than David Lloyd to commentate on it?
Technology of covering and following cricket
By Will 4 years ago, mid-December, 3 Comments »
Technology has moved on massively even in the short time I’ve followed the game. Back then, in the familiar gloom of the 1990s, few people bothered with Sky. It required a “dish” which implied a small and unobtrusive space-age work of genius. In fact, they were the size of a small car and were concreted onto the sides of flats which almost collapsed under the weight. They were also bright white, or they were until the pigeons took aim.
All change. The dishes are now properly unobtrusive – digital, even – and are sucked onto the walls of every estate in Britain. And here is the BBC’s Test Match Special producer, Caroline, with their own version.
I miss the old days sometimes. Ceefax, waiting for the colours to change (not out batsmen were in white, I think, and those dismissed turned green. Appropriately.) Can’t remember what blue meant. But there was a thrill in watching the screen, if the radio was knackered, waiting for it to change. And there was usually (but not always) a delay in updates if a wicket had fallen…so you’d sit there, sweaty palmed, and wait for the batsman to turn green.
This was all before Cricinfo came along. Now that we’re doing ball-by-ball commentary editorially – with more of a voice, colour, interesting facts etc – the response has been incredible. We even get emails from fishermen at sea…in the middle of the bloody sea, reading our website and following commentary. It’s ridiculous.
So I don’t miss the old days that much. There is too much cricket being played; the game is played at a new, frenetic pace (except when Collingwood’s batting); Zimbabwe are, well, whatever. But the coverage, and access of cricket news for the fans, is unprecedentedly broad. It’s pretty damn good.
What do you miss from the dark old black-and-white (or white and green) days and what modern marvels do you like the most?
3 Comments »Online radio commentary for the Ashes
By Will 4 years ago, at the start of November, 347 Comments »
Adrian emailed with a good suggestion that we draw up a list of online radio stations who will be covering the Ashes. In his words…
How about a thread detailing where we can listen to cricket on-line. I believe
that ABC in Australia broadcast on the internet occasionally.Naturally, we’ll be following the ball by ball on cricinfo, but it’s always
interesting to listen to other equivalents to TMS, I spent a couple of months
in India and All India radio’s commentary was addictive.
Over to you lot.
347 Comments »Rediscovering Test Match Special
By Will 4 years ago, mid-August, 8 Comments »
At work we obviously have to watch every ball, not simply listen to it. And down here in Devon, without Sky for some reason, I’ve just turned on the radio for the past hour which has brought memories back of listening to TMS in my youth. It really is a brilliant way of following a Test. You miss the pictures of course, but somehow feel even closer to the action.
One thing I can’t work out is who the heavy-breather is. It’s not Boycott or Agnew…anyone else hear it?
Here’s Salcombe this afternoon where I’ve been supping pints overlooking the sea
Cricinfo’s ball-by-ball commentary
By Will 4 years ago, mid-July, 8 Comments »
Until now, with the odd exception, ball-by-ball commentary has been performed by mystical faraway people with no names. As if by magic, bang on time, the scorecards at Cricinfo appear and within a few minutes a stream of fascinating (and for many people, vital) commentary is revealed.
The veil of intrigue as to the identity of these people is, on Thursday at least, to be removed as me and my colleage, the utterly venerable Jenny Thompson, will be providing live ball-by-ball commentary. My editor and boss started the ball rolling the other week, during the one-dayers against Sri Lanka, which was (near enough) the first time an editorial team had access to it. Actually that’s rubbish: our colleages in India, Jamie and Sriram, have been doing it for the India v West Indies series – and a splendid job they’ve done too.
Anyway it’s all pretty new and exciting and, hopefully, me and Jenny (and others of course) might provide something a bit different. We’ll see how it goes. I’m keen on pointing people from the scorecard to various things on the site – be it a funny/interesting new photo that’s just landed; a “breaking news” story – and generally bringing our own personal style (within house rules, and The Cricinfo House Style) to proceedings.
On that note…what do you like/dislike about Cricinfo’s scorecards and live commentary? What do you want to hear about when you’re stuck at work, clock-watching? I promise not to do a Henry Blofeld re his fascination of butterflies and London buses…but a stray pigeon simply has to be mentioned.
8 Comments »The clapping seal
By Will 4 years ago, at the start of June, 3 Comments »
Jenny, my colleage at Cricinfo, has had two rather good days in the past week. Firstly, during the final Test at Trent Bridge, she spent a day with David Gower, Nasser Hussain, Ian Botham and the other Sky commentators. Naturally she’s in love with every single one of them (our ears are bleeding) but they all sound like great fun (and they have a lot of fun, too). David Lloyd (“Bumble”) is as you would expect him to be: sharp, constantly witty and an allround top bloke. Anyway I can’t spoil her piece; she’s writing it up and it’ll be published at Cricinfo quite soon.
As if that couldn’t be topped, today she faced an over (I think) at Shane Warne! And interviewed him and other stuff. So that’s two fairly cool (and unique) things you should keep an eye out on Cricinfo.
3 Comments »It’s gone for a maximum
By Will 4 years ago, at the start of March, 6 Comments »
Bloody one-day cricket. It’s ruining commentators. No sooner has Mike Atherton shamed his colleagues with an effortless and elegant description of a boundary (“Languidly stroked for four”) than another screams “Oooh oh, it’s gone for a maximum”. I hate that expression. What’s wrong with “It’s gone for six”? Pah.c
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