| 
Posts and words
Loading ...Former Australian and Western Australian fast bowler Brad Williams. He could actually hit the ball pretty well- unfortunately that’s all he could do. No technique, no defence- he’d block out the first one to get his eye in, then swing away, sometimes with surprisingly good effect! I’ll never forget when the Warriors needed four to win off the last three balls when Williams came in at 11- he blocked the first, then slogged his second for six. Absolutely priceless!
The joy of tail-end muppetry
By Will 2 years ago, at the start of December Add your comment below
How I miss tailenders. It’s fast becoming a modern-day form of grief for me, mourning their inability to sight the ball, lack of proper defence, paucity of strokeplay and general hopelessness. Them, frankly, were the days. The days of Peter Such running to square leg to play a bouncer; Courtney Walsh’s stupendous inability to block out the straight one; Allan Mullally’s carefree carelessness. It was the best tonic an English supporter needed in the dark pit of the 1990s. “Yes, son. We might be 80 for 6, but we have a tail consisting of Such, Tufnell and Fraser. You’re in for a real treat my boy, a real treat.” And, to paraphrase Mark Nicholas, boy we were.
I’ve loved tailenders more than marmite for most of my life, so it was with no hesitation that we decided to a Cricinfo XI on the worst of the worst, inspired by Iain O’Brien’s wonderful wagging today (54 minutes. No runs. Not a sausage – not even half a run). We’ve come up with some absolute beauties, none more hopelessly awful than Mark Robinson. In 229 matches he took584 wickets. But he only managed to scrape, chisel and poke 590 runs. Five hundred and ninety runs in 15 years of professional cricket. He really is a king among peasants: lord of the rabbit warren, we salute you.
We have XI other hapless winners to write about, but who were your favourites? I have a soft spot for Tufnell, partly because he was clearly pissed senseless when I saw him at Uxbridge in about 1994, but Walsh is a close second.
Tags: allan-mullally, courtney-walsh, hopeless, muppet, peter-such, phil-tufnell, rabbit, tailenders |
7 Responses to “The joy of tail-end muppetry”
December 1st, 2008 at 10.16 pm
December 1st, 2008 at 11.03 pm
See? Tailenders should be dispatched to warzones. They bring cheer to everyone.
December 1st, 2008 at 11.11 pm
Having just watched Chris Martin bring up his sixth pair, in a similar fashion to his fifth, I can relate. However I kind of feel sorry for him. Surely one of the batsmen in his team could tell him to walk across his stumps rather than hang his bat out. At least he’ll get out LBW instead of having his timber rattled again.
December 2nd, 2008 at 12.21 am
We Kiwis have a long, proud tradition of tail end muppets. Danny Morrisson held the word duck record for a time, while Chris Martin is as useful with a Cricket bat as Pete Doherty after a night out. He does have a ‘learn to bat’ video, though.
December 2nd, 2008 at 10.53 am
Never seen him in action but heard innumerable stories from my dad and uncle about the Spin maestro Chandrasekhar . He apparently is the only cricketer who has more wickets to his credit then the umber of runs scored in his test career!!!!
December 2nd, 2008 at 1.23 pm
The sight of Shaun Tait, like a proper old-fashioned tail-ender, wandering across his stumps and being bowled round his legs by an incredulous Flintoff in 2005 is a mental picture I like to retrieve when I’m in the depths of despair.
Always guaranteed to raise a smile that one!
December 3rd, 2008 at 1.29 pm
The best are those tail enders, usually west indian, (Daren Powell, Walsh, and even Ambrose who was a bit better than the other two) who not only squander their wicket in a fabulously pathetic manner – but also do it at the most innopportune moment… I can remeber Powell and Walsh, with proper batsmen at the other end receiving a long talking to in the last over of play only to swipe magnificently at the first delivery they receive… its as though they cannot resist the possilby glory of a boundary
Comments
