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Loading ...The bloated Boris
By Will 6 months ago Leave a comment on this post
More daft, brilliant stupidity from Armando Iannucci.
Saturday
I go for a walk and find I’m travelling a lot quicker than if I went by plane. It dawns on me. My fears have all come true: the physical world is reducing. Buildings are leaning over and coming towards me. Pavements are curling up over my head. The luggage was the start. But now with a fat adulterous hero like Boris Johnson to look up to, people all around me are deliberately putting on weight and rushing out to have sex outside marriage. The sudden coming together of a super-dense mayoral candidate, a massive luggage mountain and lots of fat people hooking up in bed means that London is now the heaviest city in the world. Nothing can stop its incredible gravitational pull sucking the rest of the planet towards it.
Sunday
I stay in bed as the entire universe collapses and disappears into a black hole that used to be Boris Johnson. I die happy that he has been foiled in his attempt to become mayor, and I regard the annihilation of the universe as, in the end, a victory for common sense.
Tags: Armando Iannucci, boris johnson, london, mayor of london |
