You must be a Pom to refer to bums – you lot are obsessed with them, aren’t you! When you have to use a sexual reference, it’s always that part of the anatomy, and what you like to do to it, that you go to! Whereas Aussies males are much more concerned with their dangling bits. Maybe this article isn’t such rubbish, after all!

Watson’s a revelation, isn’t he? A friend of mine here in Tassie played club cricket with him, and has always rated him highly, so I have lots of mea culpaing to do. I always though he was a one-dimensional batsman and a weak bowler. I guess, like Hogg and Bracken, he shows that the Australian selectors know how to pick talent.