I can’t help but enjoy Australia’s slip from grace. I’m British and it’s my absolute right. Most of all though it’s the Australian media which really gets me going.
Australia only need lose once and immediately, without prejudice or loyalty, their champion side is reduced to a bunch of complete losers. When they enter a losing streak, as they have in the past two weeks, the headlines make hilarious reading: “hapless,” “demoralised,” “licking wounds,” “Australia agony”. It goes on and is completely, brilliantly merciless. Until they win, and they’ll once again be hailed as the greatest sporting side in the history of the planet.
I’m probably completely wrong, but the turncoat style of Australia’s papers is in some ways a microcosm of a society which simply cannot accept losing. Ever. In any form, at anything. And this isn’t to say the criticism isn’t valid – Australia have been shoddy, no mistake. It’s just the tabloid turnaround which just astounds me…there is never any balance or reasoned debate as to their fall from grace. “BLOODY LOSERS. SACK THEM ALL” you half expect a headline to read.
I met two great Aussies on safari last week, Shelley and Paul. Both in their thirties, travelled all over the world, they were eager to hear my thoughts of Australia. “Been to Aus then Will?” And I told them I had. Before I could finish Shelley said “Yeah great isn’t it? Awww the beaches, everything’s just great isn’t it? Don’t you think?” And it is, and I love the country. But disliking Australia was not an option!
Billy Connolly observed this in one of his stand-up routines years ago. He’d arrived in Australia for the first time and, at a press conference at Sydney airport, was bombarded with questions about the country. “How are you finding Australia Mr Connolly? Liking it here?” “I’ve only just got off the fucking plane, but the tarmac is indeed terrific!”
Not all Aussies are like this but the positive, must-win vibe runs through the country like a critical artery. Cut it, and there’s blood everywhere. Losing is just not an option and losers should be shamed. Britain is completely, emphatically the opposite. We love to shame the losers too, but we also love to love the losers and the underdogs. Whereas in Australia, a crap league side would be backed to the hilt with a genuine belief their fortunes would turn around, in England we actually enjoy the struggle! Of course we don’t want England to lose, but we just shrug our shoulders, tut, throw a dart at Ricky Ponting and move on. C’est la vie.
I’m not sure what I’m wibbling about now, but do leave your thoughts. Scott’ll be best placed to ridicule this post…
’specially not if you live in west london, which seems to have a secret wormhole portal to melbourne as far as I can tell.
I agree with most of your take on the media, although I think you’ve missed one thing – the British media absolutely do not want any sportsperson to become too successful. Serial winners are inevitably derided as ‘boring’. We seem to be constitutionally incapable of actually celebrating anyone’s hard-earned success, which probably leads to fewer people actually succeeding, or even trying.
Don’t forget the scourge of school sports day; ‘It’s the taking part that counts’. What a load of infected, pus-filled bollocks! Playing the game fair-and-square, and respecting your opponent are vital, no argument from me on that; but it’s emphatically the winning that counts.
(Incidentally I’m uber-competitive – can you tell?)
flying into any city in Aus you cant help but notice its the country cricket was made for. Every suburb has its pretty oval. This broad flat dry land where the sun always shines. And the Aussie attitude, cocky, abrasive, can do, with a cricketer it usually helps having a bit of arrogance to your demeanour. Kiwis have a bit more of the British reluctance in them. Rugby draws our best athletes in NZ, football harnesses the talent of the lower classes in Britain. In Aussie its cricket and footy. All cliches i guess. waxing lyrical here Cricketers are a different breed from footy players though. Higher rate of smoking surely
Good point, taj. Nice weather certainly encourages more people to play (and watch). And about the classism too – there’s a big divide (in England, Scotland not so much) along the lines of football=working class and rugby (or cricket)=posh.
the aussie media can’t possibly be as harsh as the indian media when india loses..
i’m always hoping for an indian loss just to download the indian tv media clips that are hilarious…
sooo over the top…
when pak loses the media doesn’t go after them like the indians do.. just general talk about how they should have played better.. and ofcourse.. the obligatory effigy burning of the players..
Will, I just wrote a great long, considered answer to your article, then cut the lot. I thought, oh, why bother, you’re happier with your cliches anyway.
Why don’t you get back to cricket…. what about Kenya? Are they the waste of time that Michael Holding seems to think the minnows are, or will they inject some new interest and upset the estblished order? Personally I’m looking forward to seeing a few different faces.
Correct, Michael.
I think the African sun has addled young Will’s otherwise fine mind on this issue.
All local media are pretty much the same in this way. They have to write about something and try to sell their papers. I’m sure the English can be seen to be consistent. Awards from the Queen one year along with national adulation. Followed closely by being completely pilloried by all and sundry the next year.
If anything the Aussie press at least has the excuse that there is an element of shock in losing something! After all, the Australians have been so clearly superior for so, so many long years. Hee hee.
Although I will say I just got my birthday present – Ashes Glory 2006-07; 585 minutes of exactly what I need. I’ll be back in a few days when I feel restored in pride…
Well, I’m still basking in our three great ODI wins. And our press has been just the same as anyone else’s. What a bunch of losers the Black Caps were two weeks ago when they fell out of the CB series — some commentators were calling for Fleming to be sacked. Now they are gods. I am especially pleased for Craig McMillan who was an old fat hasbeen and now is old, fat and fantastic.
Is the nature of English media you describe, respect the loser, shrug your shoulders…all the rest of it, and the attitude of the Australian media, glorify winning, brow beat losing, a product of extended periods of losing and winning, respectively?
Or maybe, sides perform up to the general expectations that is put on them…
Does the nature of the sides they support/report on reflect their attitude, or does their attitude reflect in the nature of the side which a nation produces?
Heavy stuff hey? All I know is, the Australian odds are now way too short for the World Cup.
I’m an Aussie who lived in England for six years and the way you just described the Australian media is EXACTLY how I felt about the British media while I was there.
Did you read the papers during the Football World Cup? You must have missed it but here’s the skinny: The greatest star-studded football team to ever grace the face of the earth were reduced to choking losers within the space of weeks.
I didn’t see much shoulder shrugging or graceful acceptance of that loss.
Oh, you know, Will, just cultural cliches in general. And “not all Aussies are like this” as a finisher! But you might like to visit this site, written about 6 months ago before the Ashes, for another Englishman’s comments on your own press, as recorded in his tour diary
I went to the site, looking for his work on promoting cricket in Africa ( yes, I know this isn’t the topic of this post but you’re putting them out so fast that I completelymissed the two previous, Sorry!)) and found this bit an enjoyable diversion, (not just because of his English press comments, either). Along the lines of Stu’s stuff, it depends on where your team is standing. England’s media triumphant are no prettier, or different, than anyone else.
No different to the British press I think. They go apeshit every time England wins and then when the losing streak starts, they start calling for someone’s head.
I have read the British tabloids of course. They are probably more sensationalist than their Aussie counterparts, but I still think they’re less one-eyed. Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know…I was just picking up on something and running with it like the full-back I once was.
Definitely not the author; don’t agree with all he has to say but he is a good read. It was to you, as I assume I am the certain digger, that I address.
Of course not knowing you are actually a Welshman, that’s automatic knowledge right?
Rugby is a brilliant sport – glad to hear you’ve once played Will! I was a half back in League and a Fly Half in Union. I still am I guess; but not as often as I used to be.
Not Prince William Kathy no, thank God! Not sure me and Liz would get on too well, unless she likes a good cup of builders tea. Me and Phil would have laugh though.
Rugby’s a damn good game but I’ve gone right off it in the past 5 years. It’s become so dependant on physical strength. Look back at the brilliant Welsh side of the 1970s…can you imagine any of them surviving a Test against these freaks?
My Grandparents were New Zealanders and I loved watching the All Blacks in the early 1990s. Their handling and set-pieces were just so skillful. These days, they just boot the bloody thing beyond the 22 and trust a winger pumped on steroids to carry it over the line.
Mikey; You’re a bit slow on the allusions. You’re a good man sister – see The Big Sleep.
There’s only one digger in the UK, the Dirty Digger, aka Rupert Murdoch. Your use of the superlative is what makes your comment brainless. Weirder than what?
“we don’t want England to lose, but we just shrug our shoulders, tut, throw a dart at Ricky Ponting and move on”
….to The Sun for a gawk at their Cricket World Cup babes XI, which is our real interest!
As an Australian born in Australia I have to say that I found Australia’s whitewashing as enjoyable as anyone, because A) it really opens up the field for the World Cup, and B) because many of our cricketers need to be given an ego-check every now and then. It’s unfortunate that Ponting wasn’t there for B, because the thought of him throwing chairs around the dressing room and hurling Napoleon-complex-driven invective at the Kiwi dressing room would have made my year.
Will, rugby could be a lot worse, the East German Women could have a team!
interesting posts and comments. I cant quite comment on the Eng press v Aussie press, but I think a lot of the ‘media’ in a lot of the places have the habit of swinging to extremes. I would have thought Australia were probably a little better off, but I would have been shown up wrong.
take a look at India- they’re almost expected to be gods; when they win, thats proof enough, and they’re saviours of many ills the common man faces ; they lose, and the knives come out faster than you could say Mahendra Singh Dhoni.
There’s a show called Match ka Mujrim on an indian news channel (‘Guilty/accused of the match’), that lays into players even when India wins, determined to find out who deserves to be convicted! Its insane.
Will, you must be joking !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Firstly, I have never read journalists that circle like a shark more than Fleet Street. Remember the previous 4 tours prior to 05′. In 89, 93, 97 and 01′ each Australian team was the worst team to ever leave the shores, and how many ‘live’ tests did ENG win in those series. Bout 2.
Secondly, this must-win vibe that runs thru the country. Wasn’t it your stupid monarchy who awarded an MBE to everyone who played in the 05′ series ? Collingwood 7 runs at the Oval, well done old chap, here have an MBE. What a disgrace !! What about MBE’s for Taylor, S.Waugh, M.Waugh, Boon, Slater, Blewett, Merv, AB, G.Marsh, Deano, Healy, Alderman, McDermott, Lawson, Warney, Gillespie, Reiffel, Ponting, May, Elliott, McGrath, Kasprowicz, Bevan, Langer, Fleming , Julian & co who have wreaked havoc on England 89-05′.
I’m sure we Aussies can handle losing. Just not to the Poms or, even worse, the Kiwis. If Kenya were to beat us in the World Cup final we could handle that.
Sorry Will but you’re dead wrong regarding the press. In my Aussie opinion the British press is far more savage. One headline from years ago that stuck in my head was after a one day defeat: “YOU ONE DAY WALLIES!†it yelled. Was probably a red top though.
However I agree with your comment on the Aussies you met insisting that Oz is wonderful. In Britain when I tell people I’ve settled here they play their own country down and say, “why’d you leave all that nice weather, etc.†but if a Brit moves to Oz, all the Aussies say, “smart move, you’ve come to God’s country.†The easygoing, self-deprecating, don’t-take-yourself-or-your-country-too-seriously attitude that Aussies are apparently famous for is not much in evidence there these days. Which is one of the main reasons I won’t go back.
I must admit to loving watching the All Blacks play rugby about as much as I enjoyed watching Australia field in the last few tests.
Watching Symonds and Clarke snuff out runs in the ring (erm infield)is a bit like watching a Kiwi offload in the tackle; the patriot in me despairs but the sportsman in me glows with pride that someone can play that well.
Rugby is a game I’d have loved to have played but I was too thin to be a forward and too slow to be a back. I was put in the second row as a schoolboy when I had the build of a 1987 Bruce Reid (obviously without the moustache) and it rather put me off.
I’ve enjoyed this thread more than most, good to hear some really interesting points of view.
Timbo – the media coverage of the England football team is vile, and a source of constant aggravation to the Scots (and probably the Welsh and N Irish as well, but I’ve not lived in either of those places).
And rugby’s great – I’m going to see Scotland v New Zealand in the RWC in September
Wasn’t sure where to say this, but this post is partly about having positive vibes about sport so I put it here. This is a great interview with Paul Nixon from The Times:
I’m French and last year I lived in Australia in Cairns during 3 months and I constate it’s right that Australians like to win that’s is logical… They have the spirit of winner ! (sorry for my english ^^)
PS : I like when you said “C’est la vie !”, a little part of French langage…thank you !
Hey guys, i got this from my googl alert on ‘media culture’..it seems i have to say something,im not ball games fan though. I ve been in the UK for 1 year and witnessed how pple made hot debate on world cup2006 when we were watching in the same big living room for international graduate student house.well.cut it, all media has been constituted culturally and politically, look, what you shed the light on different comments is really really hilarious, that ’s the purpose of media.they got it!!you prove it!!as for ‘glorify winning, brow beat losing’ , this is a golden law in all history,isnt it, tell me you guys,who wanna be a loser in any occasion?who can really chase for losing anything he wanna grip?!?! naive guys..oh well.but nice.that’s why the media is busy for,communication goes this way.(BTW im chinese,there is a famous saying in china:胜者为王 败者寇winner is king,loser is enemy )
You are not telling us sporty stuff WHILE your words are telling us what and whom you are !!!
Interesting. I am an Aussie and have been equally pleaseed to see their slip, although I truly think it might be short-lived, BUT, what is interesting is that the exact things you say about the Aussie media I have thought many times about the British media and have also seen same documented by others. I mean not to chide here but merely make an observation.
It is just the nature of the shareholder-driven money-focused companies that are the media conglomerates. They have worked out very well how to tweak our knobs for their own best interest and bottom line.
There is no money for them in quiet, confident, re-assurance of the cricket loving (or any other) masses when either team has a problem.
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