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    Ticket to nowhere

    By Scott last year, at the end of January Leave a comment on this post

    The Barmy Army can’t even give tickets away to Australia vs England at Sydney. Fortunately, England’s tour of duty is nearly over. And they are really treating it as a tour of duty.

    Gary Hayes is one of South Australia’s most respected and sociable cricket coaches. He coaches Adelaide University’s first-grade side, a club where Liam Plunkett once passed a contented and productive season. His desire to wish Plunkett well at an England net session this week required a security officer to hover a yard from his shoulder, antennae twitching. Hayes is half-Malaysian - he recently coached the Malaysian team - and wonders if that explains it. “Goons,” he concluded, suitably unimpressed.

    Had the security team investigated Hayes further they would have discovered that he had also contacted Plunkett during the second Test in Adelaide, the Test where England’s last-day capitulation sealed their Ashes defeat. Plunkett went out for dinner with his one-time coach and some former colleagues but had to eat at a restricted list of restaurants vetted by England. As he left the hotel his Durham colleague, Paul Collingwood, joked that he would not be having room service for the first time on tour. How can it be beneficial for an England cricketer to tour in such a reclusive manner?

    This is kind of hilarious. Where do they think they are, Australia or Iraq? What on earth are they so frightened of? It’s hard to imagine anyone telling the likes of Steve Waugh or Matthew Hayden where they could or could not eat on tour. But as an Australian fan, I’m delighted to read this, because no England team is going to come here and win with this sort of mentality.

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    5 Responses to “Ticket to nowhere”

  • Tom wrote:
    January 30th, 2007 at 9.01 pm

    I think more than anything, the team are being wrapped in cotton wool.

    Example:

    The similarities of the two team buses could not be greater. England, in each city, have used luxury coaches, complete with all the creature comforts such as large seats, televisions and security features such as heavily tinted windows, and usually a police escort. They are driven around by someone who is paid a rather large sum, their bags at each hotel are chauffeured between the hotel and the bus by a team of labourers.

    The Australian team bus on the other hand is ten years old. During the Test series, a rotational roster existed with each player driving the bus at some stage during the tour. (Stuart Clark or Warne ended up doing the most ’shifts’). Bags were carried by their respective owners, and a punishment system was in place for anyone who broke team rules (Shouts a round of drinks).

    With England being branded soft on the field, many reports of English movements at hotels and within cities it’s truly no wonder their performances lack a hard edge like 2005.

  • Raj Dutta wrote:
    January 31st, 2007 at 8.13 am

    holy gabana, what a rebel! i bet Liam Plunkett doesn’t even slice the crumbs off his cold sandwiches.

  • Caro wrote:
    February 1st, 2007 at 7.02 am

    James Anderson doesn’t want his ticket to Friday’s match, either. He’s using the excuse of a sore back to get out of another potential demolition. Of course, 24 hours on a plane will do wonders for it, just what the physio ordered. Oops, silly me, I forgot, naturally he will be flying first class, probably with his own bed and personal masseuse.
    ( By the way, the medical scans showed no back damage, I think his pain is psychological)

  • Kathy wrote:
    February 1st, 2007 at 7.24 am

    I think it is bizarre behaviour. Who on earth thinks this is the way to conduct a tour — the management or the players themselves?

  • Nick wrote:
    February 3rd, 2007 at 11.05 am

    It’s bizarre and more than a touch paranoid. Did they think a marauding gang of Aussie fans would try and kidnap Gereint Jones or something? (might’ve done us a favour if they had…)

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