The political correctness sheep haven’t yet grazed cricket’s many pastures of weird idioms and phrases. Not yet. And before I go on – is that the most bizarre metaphor I’ve ever written? Yup.
In English, what I meant to say was Cricket Australia have given the term “pom” (and its derivatives) the all clear, in the wake of yesterday’s clamping down on racism by the thumb-twiddlers in Dubai. It’s terrific news allround. I personally don’t give a hoot if an Aussie calls me a pom; quite the contrary. I’m sure every England cricketer is proud to be a “pommy bastard” and a “dirty little pommy scumbag” or whatever else the Australians will bleat at them this winter. In this age where even the trusty manhole cover is cowering in fear from the political correctness giant (New Labour: new words), it is terrific that cricket is just about escaping his all encompassing snare.
On similar lines, my Mum’s old boss – a terrific person, the lead in her field (rheumatology) and a remarkably resilient character – reminded me of society’s pathetic pandering to equality. I got to know her really well, and ended up working with her at the NHS for a while; although a senior consultant, revered by everyone and frightening medical students due to her authority, we got on like a house on fire. But even she, when I cheerily asked “So then Miss Chairman, how was the meeting?”, retorted furiously with “It’s ChairPERSON, Will”. I put my hands up (without coming to the party) – a fair point, and I respected her too much to disagree. But nevertheless, how pathetic it is that these words and phrases are taken so bloody seriously these days. I’m seeing it from a bloke’s angle, and I’m sure most girls don’t squirm when they drive over a manhole cover, not a womanhole cover or personhole cover.
Anyway, back to the poms. The term pom is permissible but only if it’s not preceded or followed by something which would be considered obscene. In short, pommy bastard could yet be made extinct – not to mention the more colourful variations (remember Katich?).
I’m the first to shout out against political correctness, but at the same time, having played cricket and lived Down Under for seven months, I can’t say I like being called ‘a fuckin’ Pom’ every five minutes. It is very wearing, and more than a little offensive. (If I’m honest, I only ever encountered it in Sydney.)
The irony is the term ‘POM’ is said to derive either from ‘Prisoner of Her Majesty’, or ‘Prisoner of Mother England’. So why the Aussies lambast me, a Scotsman, with it, I don’t know.
Banter’s great, particularly when you knock yourself, but not when you nastily berate a visitor to your country.
“I put my hands up (without coming to the party)” got a very loud laugh from me!
I’m never quite sure if I am allowed to comment on things like chairmen and manholes, after all, as a white male I’m usually not the one being ‘discriminated’ against. But on the whole it is very silly.
As for poms – I’m a pommy bastard and proud, wouldn’t have it any other way. As wikipedia tells me, it’s quite an endearing term!
Most ‘political correctness gone mad’ stories are the figment of bored journalists with a deadline to meet and who are far too bone-idle to go and find a proper story.
‘Baa baa green sheep’ – Didn’t happen, it was made up by a journalist. ‘Non-black bin liners’ – didn’t happen, made up by a journalist… Not being allowed to ask for ‘black coffee’ – didn’t happen, made up by a journalist.
So – ‘Person-hole?’ I’d bet it was made up by a journalist.
Indeed so Angus and Ollie, fair points both. I imagine I’d probably get sick of it eventually; living in London is a bit like living in Sydney, except we can tell them a) we won the Ashes b) they’re only visiting here, and it’s our country and c) hurry up and pull that beer!
Pom is an endearing term, Ollie – I reckon anyway. In the piece I put up on Cricinfo, I mentioned the POHM variation theory which is one I always mention…it makes the most sense to me. So the next time you’re called a Pom, just throw it right back in their face.
Reverse Swing: yes, you’re right, a lot of them are made up. But a lot of them have nevertheless been adopted by the media (and consequently by society). I can only think of chairperson at the moment…some of the funnier ones I can remember are
farting = gastronomically expressive
petrol pump attendant = petroleum transfer technician
large noses = nasally gifted
And there’s one about baldness – folically independent/challenged or something
‘Bleating’, Will?
As an Aussie I can put my hand on my heart and say that I never bleat. I may moan and bitch and complain, perhaps wring my hands on occasion. But never bleat!
I think it’s the New Zealanders that you’re thinking of maybe…
Maybe from Pomeranian[a SUPERIOR type of dog.[Just to give you Aussies a chance-brush up your Huxley];or
Jimmy Grant[immigrant]to immy-granate to pomegranate[oh No,not Persephone again]to pommy.
Best to concede 5-0 or go to a Turkish gaol a la Midnight Express time.
All this reality T.V.nonsense doesn’t wash.You might make 10 at Lord’s where the track is designed to help beginners but don’t mix it sarf of the river mate.Come to think of it;as H.B.said there are a lot of other places I wouldn’t go to either.
Will.Don’t worry;most people agree with you.P.C. started in Utah or nearby by some dubious religious sect-get my drift?
As for consultants,they are just human beings and pretty stupid ones a lot of the time.
Anyway I’m off to lie down in a darkened room.
Yeah the term is folically challenged. So according to the PC brigade I am a folically challenged, nasally gifted, prisoner of her majesty with unmarried parents who is gastronomically expressive.
Nuts to that. I’m a bald, big nosed Pommy bastard who farts a lot.
Ah the sweet smell of corruption , but isn’t our Darryl just creating a market in Test match victories. Years to come new betting index : The Darryl 500 or the Hang Seng Hair.
Half a mill buys the Ashes , a tenner gets you a one day win against Bulgaria. Opposite captain done for ball tampering… a squillion . Warney incorruptible independant auditor…… yeah right and you’re not descendeded from convicts …having a larf
I don’t know, Vlad, a tenner for a win over Bulgaria, particularly in ODI cricket, sounds too good. The Bulgars are developing fast, with teams across the country. The cricketers kickbox, too.
Vladimir al haq is an improving Bulgarian wristspinner worthy of note, Shane Brezhnev wields a mean blade however there is a hazard turning out for the Bulgars , lose and you get shot,they tried five dayers but by day two things had got messy, , always lots of young blood coming through all giving 100%
Will.It’s called ’stream of consciousness’so you probably wouldn’t but there are plenty of things you might get.
Name me one thing you don’t get.
Anyway,good song[Crime and the City Solution];Nick cave;
and many others.Perhaps an old trad.tune or even self-penned.
Will.I have a reread[difficult sometimes with this definition]and I think I may have upset you about your mum and her boss.As a long term N.H.S.worker in another profession [as is my wife]I have met many people like you state and they are[mostly]good good eggs but it’s like the curate’s egg,especial lately,there are some bad bits.
Like cricketers,doctors are only human and make mistakes and[probably-nowadays at least- due to ‘targets’can get very grumpy.
Sorry for that but the rest of it still stands.
Why are we on a cricket blog when there is so many more important things? Light relief.
On the political correctness though, which seems to be what the rest of you are talking about, my daughter has recently started what I thought was going to be Brownies (she’s only 6). Alas I hear that that is a racially-prejudiced term, and they are now all Girl Guides . . . how ridiculous! And by the way, in Aust at least, you can have girl Scouts, but not boy Guides.
I had the pleasure, last year, of sitting next to 7 identikit lads on a flying trip to watch some cricket(here’s the image for you – No 2 cuts, porcine eyes, rapidly evolving beet coloured skin, too much of which was on display, insatiable thirsts and, curiously, Celtic tattoos notwithstanding their apparent Anglo Saxon forebears). Hours on end were spent by them (at least while capable of speech)advising Jason Gillespie that he was a f**** pikey c***. Alas, I was then unfamiliar with the term pikey, but quite conversant with the other bits. I am now better informed, if not wiser. Not too much PC there, then.
Hiya, as you’ve talked about pommy stuff I thought I’d try a few jokes I made up out on this forum. I’m a pom but I made them up to “fit in” with my Aussie team mates. They’re based around the weird premise that Poms don’t wash…
Joke 1: Why are British prisons some of the “safest” in the world? Answer: There’s no soap in the showers.
Joke 2: What have cricket bats and soap got in common? Answer: The poms have forgotten how to use either.
Just as a matter of interest, when I clicked on the link for this blog I got hijacked to the B3ta site. Just how do they do that?
The origin of POM has been discussed on UK radio and TV just about every time there is a test match between England and the Ozzies. The only thing that seems to be agreed upon is that no-one can be sure of the true origin so anyone who tells you that it means one thing, for sure, is talking bull.
Thank heaven for penguin by the way! If its an Emperor, Long may he reign. I have almost weaned myself off TMS from the BBC and with Aggers turning up now and then its almost as good!
I see the Dingoes are playing for the draw, expecting to bat for the next two days. They should make a game of it and declare at 400!
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