As per the subject, what would be the worst attributes for a cricket radio commentator? I’ll just throw this one out to the public, after the hilarious response to my last off-beat topic (“Most inappropriate celebrity cricket commentators“).
I guess those with limited hearing, or limited eyesight (deaf and blind, to be blunt). And any politican would be hopeless and inappropriate.
The French.
Americans, en generale.
Yes, basically this is a “cricket is superior, now bog off and let’s laugh at your ignorance at its great glory” post.
For that matter, anyone with Tourette’s would struggle to persuade even the most liberal producer that he deserves a stint in the TMS hot seat (“Here comes McGrath, on a lovely sunny morning…he’s up to the wicket, forward comes Joyce* TOSS BAGS he’s bowled him BUGGER IT, oh, do excuse me.” So, Tourette’s sufferers would struggle I think. Mind you, so would I; I’d brick it if I had to speak to several million on the radio.
Over to you.
* Ed Joyce. [yes he'll be playing then, you see]
P.S. don’t, anyone, suggest “Being female” as an attribute. You saw what happened last time…
Loved the reference to Tourettes – had me splurging tea all over the keyboard.
Imagine dyslexia, with the commentator trying to read the notes from the scorer – “and this is the third time that Smith has bawled the batsmen”
And yes! let’s get some really dumb girls on there “Jeez, his buns looks pretty good in those troos!” or “How does he do his hair?” or “Would you really want to wear that lipstick on a Saturday night?”
Otherwise, just copy the BBC and get non-entity football commentators on the show.
How about being Bob Willis. Surely no broadcaster would ever employ someone so depressing who utters everything in monosylables and is the only man in the world who calls lunch “luncheon” and feels obliged to mention every sposnor’s name (“Welcome to the fifth Npower Test at the Brit Oval …”?
David Morrow of the ABC was doing the call of yesterday’s ODI between Australia and South Africa, and he was simply woeful, getting players names wrong, the score wrong, etc. Dreadful stuff.
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