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Just when I was wondering what the point of Twenty20 was in the aftermath of Pakistan taking India apart, we I have my answer: the prospect of Mark Nicholas sounding as if he had just been let of fagging by his house prefect. Crikey, heeeelloooo!
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Commentators allured to Twenty20 madness
By Gideon Haigh 2 years ago, mid-January Leave a comment on this post
Last week in Australia was one which may in hindsight be seen as a
historical turning point. Monday night brought the first home Twenty20
international won comfortably by Australia in front of a record crowd for
the Gabba of 38,894 patrons who left slightly deafer than when they came in
thanks to an atmosphere more reminiscent of a disco than a cricket ground.
But this was not the historical event: everyone has known for some time the
potentialities of Twenty20 cricket and their implications, not so much for
Test cricket as for one-day cricket, whose humdrum nature is shown in even
more stark relief. The truly fascinating development was the role of the
Channel Nine commentary team, who abandoned all pretence of being
disinterested critics of the spectacle before them, and turned into carnival
barkers: ‘Hurry hurry hurry, step right up and see the AMAAAAZING cricket
match!’ During South Africa’s insipid and incompetent reply to the
Australian total, viewers were told repeatedly that what they were watching
was the most exciting innovation since penicillin. One expects this from
Tony Greig, of course, who has been selling ghastly gew-gaws for years. But
here were Mark Taylor, Ian Healy, Mark Nicholas and Michael Slater, almost
tumescent with excitement, essentially doing the same: selling us a
one-sided one-dayer as though it was the Tied Test. No wonder Rich and
Chappelli had the night off; George Galloway on Celebrity Big Brother was a
model of parliamentary dignity compared with Slater’s desperate attempts to
endear himself to his temporary bosses. This reinvention of cricket
commentary as infomercial raised some provocative questions. Is the
commentator there to call the game, or to sell it? Is his duty primarily to
the viewer, to his employer or – strange anachronistic notion, this – to the
game of cricket? The commentators here are on a slippery slope, but they
look determined to slalom down it.
It was almost a relief to watch the comparative dignity of the opening VB
Series game on Friday evening, another damp squib thanks to the serene
inertia of Sri Lanka’s Martin Van Dotball, but with a soundtrack neither so
hysterical nor hyperbolic. It was possible to savour instead the
restoration of heart-warming traditions like the sound of Murali being
no-balled by one of those famously knowledgeable and hospitable Melbourne
crowds – something, of course, to which the commentators were far too polite
to refer. But ho! What have we here, with Nicholas and Healy at the
microphone? Mr Smooth and Mr Shrewd wearing false moustaches as part of a
beer promotion involving a talking Boonie doll! Pure ruddy gold. Kerry
Packer might have gone to his reward, but his spirit is alive and well. If
you can bear to sit through the eye-glazingly dull games, there’s some
veeeeerrry interesting stuff going down in Aussie cricket at the moment.
Tags: australia, commentary, commentators, gideon-haigh, ian-healy, kerry-packer, tony-greig, twenty20, vb-series |
8 Responses to “Commentators allured to Twenty20 madness”
January 15th, 2006 at 4.43 pm
January 15th, 2006 at 4.55 pm
I think the phrase goes “Hellooooo MASSIVE! MASSIVE!” (as Flintoff hits a six over long-on and nearly out of the park). Ah, them were the days…
January 15th, 2006 at 5.25 pm
That’ll be the one!
January 15th, 2006 at 7.49 pm
You’ve got to love his sheer boyish enthusiasm. Can’t stand Greigy though for his “stating the obvious”-style of commentary.
Greig:
“Ohhh and he’s just clubbed that through midwicket and it’s running towards the boundary, the fielder’s chasing that but he’s not going to make it, a good shot there from the man holding the bat on the wicket after facing a ball from the bowler.”
Nicholas:
“Wowser! WHAT a SHOT!”
January 15th, 2006 at 8.47 pm
Greig’s classics are often on the lines of: “Oh *good* shot, well played, out there to deep long-on and GREAT catch! What a brilliant take! He had no trouble there whatsoever.”
Mind you, I have a feeling I’d make similar howlers if I was ever let loose with a microphone…
I actually missed the Healy and Nicholas “tache show.” I wonder if anyone caught it on tape…
January 16th, 2006 at 11.35 am
Have you been asleep, Gideon? Nine’s commentary team have been a tribute to the spirit of commerce for a long time now. The question of where the primary loyalty of the cricket commentator lies was settled when Rod Marsh was sacked all those years ago.
I couldn’t hear the crowds no-balling Murali (the question of whether or not he should be no-balled is one we can dwell on elsewhere), but it’s not at all impossible that sound engineers could have dubbed the sounds out. Now THAT is going beyond the call of duty in the interests of the House of Packer.
January 20th, 2006 at 12.06 pm
I missed that too… i’d love to catch a repeat!
January 30th, 2006 at 6.53 am
i am a big lover of cricket and when i was watching it the other day when aust played sri lanka the commentators went on and on and on about the roll of the bowlers ankle… like who cares… we want to see the game not listen to that bullshit and again and again… who cares
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