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Cricket quotes
By Will 4 years ago, mid-November Leave a comment on this post
I have a dozen or so famous/stupid/funny/eccentric quotes from cricketers, and people citing cricket, which display randomly. If you know of any more - do let me know, by leaving a comment here.
Tags: cricket-quotes, funny, quotes |
33 Responses to “Cricket quotes”
March 28th, 2005 at 9.36 am
March 29th, 2005 at 6.43 pm
Good one - which reminds me…wasn’t there a very famous Indian commentator who used to come up with complete garbage? Not necessarily always funny…he just came up with dictionary-less words and phrases.
March 30th, 2005 at 2.40 am
I don;t know about dictionary-less words pr phrases, but the crazy/garbage/funny/all of the baove man was the inimitable Navjot Singh Sidhu, with gems like:
“Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!!!”
which soon came to be knows an as Sidhu-isms, for they were, to be honest, invented entirely by him, Whether that is a good thing or not is for you to decide!
Cavalier opening batsman with absolutely no regard for spinners, his forays into commentary are now the stuff of legend in India, if not always for the right reasons!
After a decent stint with ESPN StarSports in Asia, he was unceremoniously let go, though he is still a hot favourite with some of the news channels for his bizarre wit. He has a tendency to polarise though, most either like the guy or think he is garbage.
In fact, I now realise there is an entire website dedicated to him here:
http://www.sidhuisms.com/
March 30th, 2005 at 11.07 am
Ahh, that’s him, old Navjot - brilliant, cheers for the link AKR
April 2nd, 2005 at 5.53 pm
Here is one I found recently ….”I’m not sure that I’d say he is our second best cricketer after Bradman … but there would not be many between them.” ….and who said it ??..Who other than Steve Waugh here http://foxsports.news.com.au/story/0,8659,12728772-23212,00.html
I really think Steve is an intelligent cricketer, but these constant ‘next to Bradman’ theories keep on builing this doubt inside me….does he do this ’seriously’ ?
Anyway, atleas I find them amusing…and wait for next one !!!
April 2nd, 2005 at 9.01 pm
I don’t know Manish…he’s a special cricketer, Gilchrist. And he just seems to keep on improving, battering attacks all around the world. He’s not Bradman; no one will be. Actually, that’s one of SWaugh’s less mad quotes. His worst surely has to be about Brett Pee being a “once in a generation bowler…” 
April 2nd, 2005 at 11.36 pm
Ahh Manish,
I had just blogged about that fox sports story.
If nothing else, Gilchrist has revolutionised the role of a wicket keeper in cricket. and he happens to be the most feared player in world cricket today, along with sehwag.
here is an interesting quote from Aamir Sohail, during his commentary stint yday:
“Inzamam played it beautifully, even though the eyes were not on the ball”
April 3rd, 2005 at 3.29 pm
Will and Avinash..no doubt Gilchrist is good..probably the best keeper batsmen of our times. That wasnt the point.
First of all, we dont know (I dont how good Bradman was, except for that astonishing test average. But thats just stats. But lets just assume he was as great as its almost universally accepted in official cricketing circles. So where does Gilchrist fall purely as a batsman.
Compare his allround thrashing with that of many contemporaries….Richards, Sachin, Sehwag (yes!!), Botham etc. And they have done it against the best bowling attack of their times ..emm maybe Viv didnt…for same reason as Gilchrist…they play for the best team of their times. Imagine the kind of cricketer Sachin would have been had he got the luxury of developing in the Aus kind of great team…something which we are seeing with sehwag now…
I had argued this sometime back also, when for 2-3 yrs Hayden was thrashing all in sight (and Waugh had duely called him next-to-bradman !) that Hayden was not playing against the best attack (not his fault though).
..Anyway…this is topic of other debate. Point here was the exaggeration.
And Avinash…the commentary etc in the Indian matches is always the high point…the whole ‘drama’ outside the game in enjoyable. As was also seen in the post match presentation ceremony !
April 12th, 2005 at 10.28 am
Quotes now available for your sites
July 27th, 2005 at 7.00 pm
RICKY PONTINGS THE BEST FRO ME AND CHANDERPAUL IS YUK
August 12th, 2005 at 7.14 am
One very funny phrase I remember is:
“Oh he has hooked him” - India’s Harsha Bhogle during commentary. He was commenting on Billy Bowden’s croked finger when Billy gave some batsman out!
Another one comes to mind:
“Cricket is being played more in the mind than on the field” - wasim akram emphasizing the role of strategies in modern cricket.
btw. this is a lovely blog and i do intend to visit it frequently.. c ya..
August 14th, 2005 at 6.46 pm
I forget the C4 commentator who reported the folowing comment from Shane Warne yesterday
“I could be an all-rounder - if I could bowl…”
August 14th, 2005 at 8.32 pm
Brilliant! Missed that one
August 18th, 2005 at 8.41 pm
Superb site - thought your readers may want to see Brett Lee get caught hook line and sinker by some pranksters at Old Trafford.
It’s superb schoolboy stuff and he takes it quite well:
www.greasychipbutty.com - The link is in the post made Thursday August 18th at 7:20pm - hope you enjoy it.
September 7th, 2005 at 2.54 pm
Javed Miandad tells Merv Hughes he’s nothing but a “fat bus conductor”…
“Tickets please!” MH calls to JM after he gets him out
September 8th, 2005 at 9.48 am
Haha. Greatest commentator quote was by some indian commentator in New Zealand a couple of years ago
“Well hes on his toes!!, like a midget in a urinal!”
hahahahaha
September 8th, 2005 at 3.33 pm
lol! Another good’un. Here’s one with big Merv on the receiving end:
Merv Hughes to Robin “Judge” Smith:
“you can’t f**king bat!”
Judge to MH after crashing one to the boundary:
“we make a right pair - I can’t f**king bat and you can’t f**king bowl!”
September 8th, 2005 at 7.47 pm
u need 2 hit 3 stumps in cricket 1 goal in football at least 100 in ur life
September 10th, 2005 at 3.10 pm
Loved Richie yesterday after Langer lofts Giles for 6…something along the lines of “he’s not quite got hold of that one, if he had it would have gone for 9″. Priceless.
October 11th, 2005 at 5.06 pm
Apparently during an interview in the Windies after taking a hatrick, Matthew Hoggard, bless him, said, “”The hat trick started with the first wicket.”
hmmmmm . . . bright boy . . .
October 12th, 2005 at 5.49 am
Waht with the Silver Fiox turning 75 recently I was reminded of a spectacular comment he made during radio commentary in the 60s. I believe it was Benaud and it related to Doug Walters.
Walters had come out to bat and soon after was caught plumb in front. The umpire gave him NOT out. Walters went on and made 50 and refused to acknowledge the plaudits of the crowd. He went on to make 100 and against refused to recoignise the crowd appause. To which Ritchie the Benaud said of Walters: “”That is the most non-sensical exhibition of pseudoself righteousness I have see.” Or words to that affect.
I hope my memory serves me well.
October 15th, 2005 at 4.15 pm
“Yorkshire all out 232, Hutton ill! I’m sorry.Hutton 111″ - BBC news announcer
“What a magnificent shot! No, he’s out.” - Tony Greig.
Plenty more worth a read below
October 16th, 2005 at 12.01 pm
today in the Austrlia vs ICC Rest of the world super series 6 day test match, i cant remember who the commentaitor was, but the second before Hayden got bowled by Harmison, the commentaitor had this to say, “Hayden cracking 4 he’ll make 100 for sure” then after Hayden got bowled the commentator had this to say, “No he never looked comfortable out there this morning”
Thanx for reading my comments
October 20th, 2005 at 7.18 am
Is there any sex in it?
- Peter Sellers, as a psychiatrist upon first learning about cricket in What’s New Pussycat, 1965
November 22nd, 2005 at 9.41 pm
here are some unusual ones I found this evening.
“To expect a personality to survive the disintegration of the brain is like expecting a cricket club to survive when all of its members are dead.”
~ Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
British philosopher, mathematician & social reformer
“It has been said of the unseen army of the dead, on their everlasting march, that when they are passing a rural cricket ground, the Englishmen fall out of the ranks for a moment to lean over a gate and smile.”
~ Sir James Matthew Barrie (1860-1937)
Scottish playwright, author of Peter Pan
“You know only A heap of broken images, where the sun beats, And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief And the dry stone no sound of water. Only There is shadow under this red rock, (Come in under the shadow of this red rock) And I will show you something different from either Your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”
~ T.S. Eliot (1888-1965)
British-American poet & critic
from The Waste Land, 1922, The Burial of the Dead
“Baseball and cricket are beautiful and highly stylized medieval war substitutes, chess made flesh, a mixture of proud chivalry and base - in both senses - greed” John Fowles 20th century English author
Cricket makes no sense to me. I find it beautiful to watch and I like that they break for tea. That is very cool, but I don’t understand. My friends from The Clash tried to explain it years and years ago, but I didn’t understand what they were talking about.
Jim Jarmusch - Film Director
November 22nd, 2005 at 10.32 pm
what am I doing still here? Should have been sleeping hours ago, but still, some fun …
remember The Ashes? Here is what TMS said:
My dear old thing you forgot a leg bye. Henry Blofeld (Blowers) to an umpire who made a mistake.
There was certainly, definitely a suspicion of it there. Christopher Martin Jenkins (CMJ) on the definite possibility of Jones’ bowling reverse swing.
In the third innings he’s going to be a menace. I’m talking nonsense now aren’t I? CMJ on Shane Warne.
… where you put a penny in the slot and it gives you an Elvis Presley single like the machines do these days. CMJ, in some sort of a time warp.
It’s a funny old day weather wise. Jonathon Agnew (Aggers), on several different days.
All those years of bowling to you I never knew you were a cufflinks man with a little tiffany bag. Aggers, to co-commentator Graham Gooch.
It’s called reverse because it actually swings the reverse way. Aggers, clearing up the confusion about reverse swing.
You’ve got to give credit to the skill of the English bowlers. Whatever they try at the moment seems to work. Gooch, on the nature of skill.
Once again you have to say the Australians have got in and then they’ve got out. Aggers.
Well England are doing rather well. Blowers: Aust 5-156 chasing 444. An exceptional understatement.
And there’s an inviting gap up around the hanging baskets of the pavilion. CMJ, during a scoring spree.
His back injury is behind him. CMJ on Clarke.
It really is a seething cauldron, Trent Bridge. A cockpit of cricket. Blowers.
Well that ripped through. They both had a giggle then turned to watch it on the telly. Mike Selvey describing the batsman, Vaughn and bowler, Lee. The “telly” is the big screen at the ground used to show replays.
If the tension here was a block of cheddar cheese you could cut it with a knife. Blowers, working the metaphor.
There’s a bus stop there which is very jolly. Blowers.
There’s a small aeroplane; how splendid. Blowers.
You missed a red bus just now. Bill Frindall to Blowers. Blowers exasperates. Bill continues: Only a single decker. Didn’t think it worth mentioning.
We haven’t seen many yellow tractors especially with yellow flashing lights on their rooves. Blowers.
That’s no ordinary dog, that’s Hoggard Agnew. Commentator Mike Selvey, describing Jonathon Agnew’s dog, Hoggard. Hoggard is an English cricketer.
Flintoff starts in, his shadow beside him. Where else would it be? Blowers.
And Harmiston it is, coming in, full of the joys of spring. Blowers.
That really was a naughty stroke in the circumstances. Blowers, of Langer.
It’s quite bright here today. What dark clouds there are, are only little jobs. Blowers.
You’ve got your sepulchural, ecclesiastical voice on. Blowers to co-commentator Vic Marks.
He’s rather a splendidly ponderous figure. Blowers on Umpire Steve Buckner.
He’s trying to give the impression of being calm. He’s not. Even his heart is going pitter-patter. Blowers, of Pieterson.
That run was to Pieterson not to Flintoff, silly me. Blowers.
It’s not time for buses, it’s time for cricket. Blowers, disciplining himself.
They’d jam on the brakes, jump out of their cars and scale the walls to get in. Blowers, on what the drivers outside the ground would do if they knew what was happening at the cricket.
But golly it really is exciting. Blowers, who else?
Now people, stop talking. I’m going to have a cold bath and hand you over to Aggers. Blowers.
Derek Pringle wore an earring and Alec Bedser, who was a selector told him he’d have to take it out because it would affect his balance at the wicket. Graeme “Foxy” Fowler.
It wasn’t entirely convincing but he’s got six runs for it. Australian commentator Jim Maxwell, on Matthew Hayden.
It’s an unusual field setting. Bill Frindall, on a cake the commentary team were sent which had jelly babies standing on the icing. There is much discussion in cricket about “field settings”; where the fielders are placed on the ground.
When we wanted it to rain we used to put coat hangers on our heads and go outside and jump up and down and try to burst the clouds. Graeme Fowler recounts his days as a player. When a side is being well beaten it is in their interests for rain to wash out the game, since this will result in a draw instead of a loss.
You can assure us she’s not a man? CMJ to Clare Connor, captain of the English Women’s Cricket team, who had just told him about their fastest English bowler.
March 8th, 2006 at 6.27 pm
Aussie spectator to Phil Tuffnell:
“Oi! Tuffnell! Can we borrow your brain? We’re building an idiot!”
March 9th, 2006 at 3.33 pm
Almost certain it was Jonners:
“Bill needs a small ruler…how about the Sultan of Brunei? I hear he is only 4ft 10!”
The best quote of all quotes…
March 28th, 2006 at 3.01 am
As a Lee thunderbolt measuring 159.3 km/h, the fastest of the Test, winged past Nel’s neck, causing the burly South African to reel back, thus ensuring it didn’t knock his block off, Warne offered his advice from his position at first slip. “If you want to be the tough guy, mate,” he yelled quite audibly, “you had better show some ticker”.
(from today’s Melbourne ‘The Age’ - apparently on Foxtel you can turn off the commentators and just listen to the pitch mikes)
January 4th, 2007 at 1.28 am
My absolute fave - During a Test match between the West Indies and England, Michael Holding was to bowl to Peter Willey. The commentator at the time, Brian Johnston, described the action, quite accurately, as “The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey”. The stifled giggles after this remark made me cry with laughter.
February 1st, 2007 at 6.54 am
During a recent Ausralia vs England ODI in Australia, the commentator said, regarding Monty panesar, while he was batting.
“Well, he’s chewed off more than, er, he can handle!
Jan 2007
April 22nd, 2007 at 12.53 pm
freddie flintoff “mind the windows tino” next ball, tino best is stumped
August 17th, 2007 at 12.15 pm
During Windies recent poor fast bowling in England this summer a ceartain mr. Boycott opinioned that ‘there was a time during the 80’s when you could shake a tree in Jamacia and a fast bowler would fall out’ I am sure he did’nt mean to be so hilariously racist though…
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